Establishing Estelle
by nadya12
Summary: When Arthur's best friend dies at war he makes a promise to look after his kid sister Estelle. With Arthur as a father figure to the girl Estelle struggles to find her place in the Peaky Blinders. Tommy/OC
1. Chapter1

"Come on girls!" Polly called up to the two teenage girls who were no doubt gossiping in Ada's room. Soft foot steps told Polly they were on their way as she turned back to the cooking. If there was going to be family meeting the boys would no doubt going to be hungry mouths to feed after all the bickering and scheming. She had to get something other than cigarette smoke and alcohol into their stomachs.

Ada was the first to appear holding her friends hand who was trailing behind her.

"Let me look at ya" Polly beckoned turning around as she whipped her hands on the apron that was tied around her waist.

"Elle doesn't think Arthur will approve" Ada said as she smiled ruefully at Polly.

"He won't! You saw how h'd look at me when I just went to get a drink in the mid'night" Estelle pipped up stepping around Ada standing in full view of the gesturing to short hemline of her new navy blue dress that clung decently well to her womanly curves.

"He's just being over protective, sooner or later he'll hav'ta see you're not small girl no more"

"Soon he can't hide you from the flocks of men that will no doubt come for your hand" Ada exclaimed as she was happy for her friend.

Just as Elle finished twirling in her new dress the door flung open with the boys tumbling through it.

"Where did that come from?" Arthur questioned narrowing his gaze at the dress his Estelle wore. His finger shook at Polly before quickly making his way over to Estelle turning her by her shoulders and attempting to usher her back upstairs.

"No you don't! You've made this girl your-" Polly started at Arthur while the other two Shelby boys shuffled on their feet sensing a argument about to erupt.

"This is not up for discussion, Elle knows that she's not allowed to go wearing that kind of stuff, what kind of bloke is she trying to attract?"

Estelle's mouth fluttered open and close as she didn't even know how to respond at the scene unfolding in front of her.

"No man will even go near her you've always got her sewn to your hip! It's not appropriate anymore let her be a lady!" Polly exclaimed slamming her fist on the table. The China rattled on the table.

John who has been leaning up against the wall amused at the scene moved quickly to snatch the tea cup that was about to topple over the side of the table from Polly's movements. As quick as he kept the China from falling he went back to his spot on the wall not wanting to get involved. Tommy sighed as he rubbed his face in annoyance, "if this keeps going on like this we'll be late for our own damned meeting" he murmured just loud enough for John to heat who snickered.

The Shelby household always let Polly and Arthur duke it out over Estelle. When she first came to the Shelby household Arthur was barely interested in her, a meek 15 year old girl wasn't someone he needed to care about. Polly has that covered, taking the place of Estelle's mother when she died in a boating accident leaving the child alone aside from her brother a Peaky Blinder, William, who could barely keep his wood in his pants long enough to see that his sister needed him. But after Estelle's brother went off to war with the rest of the lot and Estelle's brother died and asked Arthur to step up for him when he got back Arthur took his job a little too seriously.

Ada huffed as she slumped down in the chair closest to her, "why doesn't anyone ask Estelle what she thinks?" Her hands flew up in the air in utter defeat.

"Why don't you consult the poor girl you are man handling? Perhaps she would like to weigh in on her own life!"

"Estelle?" Arthur lowly asked the girl he was still holding by the shoulders.

Her black hair fell softly framing her face. The long locks seemed to hide her blush at the whole arguments essentially about her.

"It's a really nice dress, it's fits nice and it wasn't cheap! I bought it myself so no I'm not returning it...please?" Estelle suddenly felt very small in every sense of the word. Her voice was strong but her brows furrowed together in worry that he would make her send it back to the dress shop.

Arthur's hard face softened slightly when she said please. Those puppy dogs eyes always got him, "I just-"

"It's what everyone else is wearing! Ada has the same one on in black!" Estelle tried to reason cupping her hands together on Arthur's chest. Giving her best pleading look.

"Just because Willie told you-" Polly started but with a harsh glare from Arthur she shut right up. Even coming up on four years later Estelle's brother and Arthur's best friend was still a touchy subject.

"Fine. She can keep the dress but don't be thinking this means you get to find a man, he's got to be approved by me and me alone will tell you when you can find one!" Arthur boomed earning a scowl from Estelle.

"That'll never happen since she's always by your side!" Polly hollered at her nephew. "It's not right anymore if she isn't with you!"

John sputtered and tommy shifted uncomfortably at that comment. It was true people had started to talk that Arthur was more than just an overprotective brother/father figure to the girl and that he was bedding her. Not that anyone would come right out and say it to the Peaky Blinders but it was clear from looks they got what people thought, the behavior was no longer acceptable for people who were not together.

Estelle pulled a face of disgust and looked to Ada for help on how to diffuse the situation.

At that Tommy pipped up "Alright kiss and make up, this dumb dress argument has already made us late to the meeting we called, no time for this new one it'll take all bloody night!" Tommy shouted as he pushed passed the bunch to fling open the doors to the betting lot area. His eyes drifted back to Estelle as he passed, his eyes racked over her legs eventually coming to her face. Her cheeks were very flushed, her pale skin no longer just creamy. Tommy locked eyes with her who was searching his face for some indication on why he always broke the arguments up when they involved the way his brother handled Estelle.

Breaking Arthur off of Estelle Ada pulled her along by her hand into the betting area looking to get them settled in seats for the meeting trying to put some distance between Arthur and her.


	2. Chapter2

Ada pulled a chair out for the two girls to share from one of side tables only to have Estelle tugged by her waist between Arthur's legs that hung over the edge of the table that he sat upon. Knowing Arthur's hands by the roughness that encircled her Estelle leaned back in him, she knew what he wanted. While he was very much trying to be the leader of the Peaky Blinders she knew he grew nervous as Tommy started inching his way to command. Holding her tight she knew Arthur calmed, she brought his back to the present.

Glancing back at Ada Estelle rolled her eyes to which Ada giggled. She knew Estelle was very much touchy feely and personally it didn't bother her when Arthur always kept her in arms reach but in public that was another story.

Estelle zoned out as she thought about what she would do now that Ada and her had been kicked out of the Red Cross nursing class. Replaying the scene in her head she giggled slightly remembering the jokes Ada told during the introduction part.

"This woman looks like she should be the dead body, not teaching 'bout em" Ada has whispered into her ear as the head nurse started to explain what dead bodies looked like to the rows of girls.

"What are you laughing about little girl?" Arthur questioned, his breath tickled my ear as he whispered trying to be discreet.

"Adas jokes" she whispered back, shifting her hips on the hard edge of the table the wood dug into her. Sensing her uncomfortableness Arthur scooter back on the table pulling Estelle up with him sitting her butt on the table too.

Not expecting to be lifted even if it was just a few inches up Estelle let out a small gasp that happened at exactly the same time there was a silent pause in the dialogue.

All eyes turned to the pair, Polly glared hard and Ada rolled her eyes as everyone shifted slightly unsure what to do. Having a young girl who wasn't being courted by said man it wasn't a whore was seen as just wrong. There was no word or phrase that could describe the kind of relationship Arthur and Estelle had and no way to explain it to others. It left everyone who didn't know them guessing.

"Sorry" Estelle uttered softly her head dipping a little in embarrassment that all eyes were on her. Her small soft hands fiddled with the edge of Arthur's suits sleeves. When she looked up after a moment to feel the stare of Thomas Shelby on her. Not her smartest move but she sunk back further in Arthur's chest when the two locked eyes. His blue eyes seemed so cold and it sent a shiver up Estelle's spine. With every passing day she felt that her days of being in the Shelby house were growing slimmer, with Tommy taking the lead and the way he chose to show his lack of interest in her she had a feeling she was seen as a burden to his family.

Once the meeting got back on track Estelle was nodding off against Arthur seemingly bored with the context of the meeting until Polly announced that supper would be served.

Shaking herself from her own nap she planted her hands on Arthur's thighs and pushed off sliding down off the table. Everyone started making their way to the kitchen to grab their meal but someone trailed behind.

"Arthur are you coming?" Estelle inquired as she turned over her shoulder. The man in question still stayed on the table.

"I'll be right there, save me a seat" he said shooing her with his hand in the air as his other pulled a glass of whiskey from amidst the papers.

"Arthur?"

"I'm fine I'll be right there" he said finally.

It was a few minutes before Arthur finally joined the rest of the Shelby's and Estelle. John sat on the bench with Ada and Finn, across from them Tommy and Polly sat in chairs. Estelle was just passing out bread to Ada and herself when Arthur came in.

Plopping down in her chair next Ada and another empty one Estelle started on her soup as the conversation they were having earlier continued.

"So what did you actually do to get kicked out?" John asked again slurping his soup loudly.

"Technically only Essie got kicked out from giggling-"

"You got kicked out?" Arthur interjected with his mouth full.

"I told you that-" Estelle said rolling her eyes, "I swear you never listen to me"

"Anyways I got kicked out because I called the nurse a hag" Ada proudly informed the group.

"What ladies I'm raising" Polly said looking up as if talking to God asking for help.shaking her head she asked what the ladies were going to do instead.

"Ada and I actually had a suggestion for that..." Estelle excitedly announced as she set her bowl down on her lap.

Looking between Polly and Arthur Ada picker up where Estelle left of, "we were reading the newspaper t'morning and we saw an ad"

"You two reading? I'd pay to see that" John jester laughing nudging Tommy trying to get him to join in.

"Anyways- we I mean Essie saw an ad for a help wanted at-" Ada started to explain as she looked at Tommy and then Polly then back at a Tommy wide eyed.

"Ada-" Tommy started to say but Arthur beat him to it.

"No fucking Shelby is going to be working for anything other than us. That's it-" Arthur sternly bit out punctuating his sentence with a bite of his bread.

"I for once agree with them, getting out of the house is one thing but I'm not sure either one of you are suited to be someone's help, it's dangerous out there" Polly tried to reason.

"Fine then I want to take on more accounting in the bet shop. I've been doing the same amounts since I was Finns age, I can handle more" Ada declared as she straightened her back as if being a little taller would give her more respect.

"Hey! I want to do some stuff too!" Finn exclaimed with his mouth stuffed, his words coming out more bread than anything.

"No Finn. We're not discussin it, the answers no just like it was five minutes ago when you tried to ask about the meeting." Polly scolded sending him a glare and pointing to the stairs, "you need to b'gettting to bed now anyway"

The young boy rolled his eyes but slid off his spot saying goodnight to his family and Estelle and scampered off to bed.

"Ada I don't see why you can't take on more" Tommy said casually. Ada smiled brightly, clapping her hands together in excitement as she leaned back smirking feeling as if this was a victory.

Estelle on the other hand just stayed quiet, she wasn't a Shelby but she knew bringing up her desire to work outside of the betting shop wouldn't go any further than it did with Ada she left it. Her mind was churning too much to to speak about it right now.

Dinner had finished relatively quiet after that, the ladies and Polly stayed to clean up while the Shelby boys left for the Garrison.

Estelle was drying their dishes when Ada stopped her with a hand on her own that was drying.

"Polly went to check on Finn, quick tell me what you're thinking before she comes back. I can see your mind working" Ada encouraged as she searched her friends face hoping it would give her plan away.

"They said no fucking Shelby would be working for anyone but a Shelby. I ain't no Shelby. I'm going to get myself a outside job"


	3. Chapter3

It was late when the Shelby boys came back, everyone was asleep. Everyone expect Estelle.

She was up in Ada and her own room sketching.

All of Estelle's clothes were in Arthur's room. While she slept and spent most of her awake time in Ada's room where she also slept on a pull out mattress there wasn't enough room for the second girl's clothes. And it just happened that the second dresser in Arthur's room was empty.

Estelle didn't know they were home until she heard the the tussling of them attempting to drunkingly make it up the stairs.

Hushed whispers reached her ears, "come on Arthur let's get you to bed"

"Tommy grab him he's about to-"

Thud.

"Fall"

Gathering from the over heard whispers, that Arthur must be too drunk to make it to his room Estelle set down her sketching in the window sill. Glancing at Ada in her bed she slowly tip toed to the door.

Pulling her dressing robe close to her she pulled back the door slightly to see into the hall. Three shadows appeared, one was gathering up a man from the floor, no doubt Arthur, and another was opening the door to Arthur's bedroom. The moon light gave light to the hall as the man opened the bedroom door.

Trying to see how drunk Arthur was Estelle pulled the door a little farther, and it freaked.

The man, John, who was helping Arthur didn't look back, paying the creaking no mind. But Thomas the man opening the bedroom door quickly found with his sight where the noise came from.

"Get back in your room Estelle" Tommy harshly whispered causing both other boys to snap their heads back as he made him way to pick up the other side of Arthur.

"Oh my dear Estelle! Come here my girl!" Arthur said in a normal level.

John shushed Arthur who no doubt if he kept talking that loud would wake the whole damn house.

"Bed. Now"

"I'll help" whispered Estelle as she crept fully out of her bedroom closing the door slightly on her way out.

Padding over bare foot to the three men, she slipped past Tommy who still stood mostly in the door way despite holding up Arthur's right side. Estelle went in and pulled back the comforter and sheet on Arthur's bed. Stepping back for John and Tommy to flop Arthur down on it she looked at Tommy, "God did you have to let him drink this much?"

The smell of whiskey wafted to her nose and was so strong that she also gagged.

Mentally she reminded herself to make sure Arthur bathed before seeing anyone In the morning she looked down at him.

"I'm not his keeper, pretty sure that's your job" Tommy bit back, folding his arms in front of him.

"N't my job!" Estelle snapped back taking a step back from Tommy.

"I'm too drunk to deal with this shit, none of us could stop 'Im Elle. You know how he gets" John informed her reaching out placing a hand on her shoulder comfortingly as he swayed in the dark room.

"That's why I need you to stop him, because I know what he's like when he's drunk..." Estelle said turning away from the two to pull on the sheets up and over Arthur's passed out body.

"Well I'm going t'sleep" John said letting his hand drop and walked out towards his own room.

Estelle still felt Thomas's presence beside her as she reached off taking Arthur's flat cap off of his head. His head had cocked to the side when she had spoken earlier about knowing what Arthur was like but Estelle paid no mind. Grabbing it's side careful not to touch the razor blades in it's fold she set the hat down on the side table.

Suddenly a hand reached out to snatch her wrist.

"Estelle- oh my little girl you've got forgive me" Arthur slurred out as his grip tightened, slightly wincing at his grip Estelle glanced out of the corner of her eye at Tommy who still stood next to her before she replied. His eyes were shut tight as his forehead wrinkled in unspoken pain.

"It's okay Arthur, I never blamed you, nothing to forgive now please... get some sleep" The girl softly said her eyes holding pity. While she loved her brother deeply and missed him everyday with all her heart she never blamed Arthur. It wasn't his fault, only this was that Arthur blames himself. Her free hand came to brush Arthur's hair out of his face.

Tommy turned to leave while he was drunk he wasn't interested in seeing anymore of this weird relationship. For the life of him he couldn't figure out why Estelle let his brother touch her the way he did, he also could never figure out why he cared what his brother did or didn't do with the girl.

"Arthur, please let go. Yr' hurtin'me" She urged again as she felt his grip tighten as Arthur pulled his hand back to his chest taking hers along with him. Arthur's head twisted in his bed clearly fighting demons in his mind. The covers came off his legs as he kicked at something in his dreams. His brothers rapid breath and the intake of breath from Estelle he turned around at the door jam.

Seeing Estelle hunched our trying to pry her wrist from Arthur's hands in the moonlight made him come back. Thinking to himself maybe John and him didn't really know what Arthur was like drunk after they were done at the Garrison and not in public.

About to say something again when Thomas came back to help Estelle felt tears prickle her eyes as she felt Arthur's nails dig into her skin. A bruise would no doubt form.

"Arthur let go" Thomas commanded a little louder than a whisper. Bringing his hand to her wrist pulling back Arthur's fingers he looked down at his brother and back up at Estelle. With one final yank and with the help of Tommy wrenching his brothers fingers from her wrist Estelle was free.

Estelle let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Cradling her wrist in her hand she rubbed her other hand over where his hand had bound her, wishing the more she rubbed the less it would be bruised in the morning. Not that wearing long sleeves in this weather would go noticed but washing dishes were no fun when you couldn't roll up your sleeves in attempts to keep them away from dish water.

"How long?" Tommy said turning to her his hands on his hips.

"Hell prolly wake up in the mid afternoon" Estelle offered eyeing Arthur through Tommy's arm and waist.

"Not what I was asking"

"Then I don't know what you're asking" she dared look in Thomas Shelby's cold blue eyes. But unlike earlier they weren't cold, perhaps it was the booze but Estelle dares claim they looked concerned. His lips were pressed in a thin line as he stepped in her personal space reaching out for her previously bound wrist.

Her left eyebrow shot up giving him a quizzical look, her own blue eyes starring back at him.

"How long as Arthur been rough w'ya?" Thomas asked directly, his fingers danced over the already forming hand print on her wrist.

"He didn't mean it" she slightly shook her head but she knew he wouldn't let her go without getting the full story. Thomas Shelby had to know everything.

One glare from Thomas Shelby stopped Estelle's reasoning as she snatched her wrist back and backed up bumping into the dresser.

"Judging by your behavior, he's done worse and it's been a while 'ince he started" Estelle glances towards to door, "how long?" Tommy asked again stepping forward his demeanor hardening further.

"It's only been-"

"Don't lie to me!" The harsh whisper cut her on her cheeks as he took one more step towards her.

"Since he got back, the second night. But only when he's drunk he has night terrors and doesn't mean to, he doesn't remember in the morning. It's why he holds me to make up for em" Estelle confessed. Her heart hammered her chest, she couldn't tell if it was from Tommy's closeness, the warmth she felt radiating off him or the fact that she was telling him her darkest secret that made her feel like she was going to combust but she could barely keep it together.

"Have you-"

"No one. It's fine-"

"No woman should-"

"I'll handle it"

He held up his finger, "One day, and then I'm handling it"

Sleep did not come to Estelle that night, she tossed and turned on the pull of mattress that lay on the floor. She hasn't cried but she had wanted to when she made it back to her and Ada's room.


	4. Chapter4

Estelle waited till the sun started to shine through the big window before she snuck back into Arthur's room. She could hear talking downstairs Polly and no doubt the Shelbys but she just wanted to change so she quickly dashed to the door hoping no one saw her in just her night gown.

Pushing the door in slightly she spotted Arthur flung across his bed. Taking a deep breath she swiftly made her way to the dresser pulling the drawers open searching for a simple green dress and little bit darker green cardigan and clean undergarments.

Checking over her shoulder to see if Arthur was still asleep she made her way back to the girls room and changed finding Adas bed empty. She laughed to herself when she wondered if Ada was off that my mystery boy she had drunkingly slipped and told her about. Once changed Estelle brushed her long black locks, got herself ready for the day and shoved her mattress under Adas bed.

Straightening up the room Estelle went down to the kitchen.

Not bothering to notice who was up or not up Estelle snatched up a muffin out of Finn's hand shouting that she would be back later on her way out the door. She heard Polly shout something after her but the slam of the door muffled her words and Estelle knew it didn't matter anyhow, today she told herself she would take her own life into her own hands.

The cool crisp air blew back her hair trailing it behind her as she went out in search of a job. While she knew she didn't have much in the way of experience working in a real business shop, Estelle was confident in her ability to adapt. If she could adapt and learn the ways of the Peaky Blinders she could adjust to just about any situation.

It wasn't difficult to see that after the first two dress shops were showing a theme after she put her address down on the application. Once they realized she lived with the Shelby's they quickly ushered her out the door and made a display of throwing away her papers.

The first time it happened Estelle was in such disbelief, the dressmaker has complimented how well mannered and eager she was to work. The woman even went as far as to say her nimble fingers and soft demeanor would aid her well when she started working in the dress shop.

Pursuing her lips together in frustration she had cocked her head and tried to reserve her utter confusion when she turned to walk out and heard the tell tale sound of paper being ripped.

Astonished she had asked the woman why and she had only reply, "I'm not about to cross the Shelby's by having their ward work for lil old me-"

The bell on the door had rung sharply as the owner had shoved her out the door slamming it behind her. Estelle found it rather peculiar that the owners had no problem shoving her out literally but wouldn't employ her because of the Peaky Blinders. What a bloody joke Estelle thought as she kicked a pebble across the street in frustration. A mother from a window scowled down at the young girl but Estelle paid her no mind, not like she would employ her.

Estelle let her shoes scuff across the cobblestone on her way to the last dress shop she knew of. Holding her breath before she she placed her hand on the door her feet shuffled a little as if their hesitation knew the rejection that no doubt would come.

On her way out with her fifth and final rejection of the day Estelle wanted to just plop down somewhere and cry. She wasn't a Shelby, so why did it matter that she lived with them, she wanted to do her own and all they saw her as was a connection and a hinderance to their protection and connection to the Peaky Blinders.

Eventually Estelle made her way to the Garrison, Ada and her had laughed off the ad for help in the previous days news but now after a good morning spent being told no it appeared this was her last option.

Brushing her hands through her hair trying to calm it from the sudden humidity and sutt from the iron workers flames that flicked it on her way to the pub Estelle swallowed hard before pushing past the heavy wooden doors.

Compared to the few times that Polly had allowed the girls to go the pub during the war Estelle found it empty and quiet. There were no patrons shouting for more beers at the bar or drunken men falling out of their seats on, only Harry sweeping the floor.

"Harry"

"Polly Shelby's ward that, that… Estelle, what brings you here?" Slight recognition crossed his face but it was clear he wasn't pleased to see her.

"Tis me…I'm here about becomin' ya new barmaid" Estelle said firmly plopping her satchel down on the bar. Her shoulder was sore from carrying it so rolling it a few times to get the kinks out the girl stepped forward trying to appear confident.

Harry looked at her with his head cocked taking a long drag from his cigarette, "Are you mad?"

"No, why would I be mad?"

"Jobs been filled" Harry informed her as he turned his back to her going back to sweeping.

"I call bullshit, tis in yesterdays paper" Estelle stamped her foot, she wouldn't be turned down. Her mind was set on getting a job outside of the Peaky Blinders and she would be damned if she didn't.

"Believe me love, I'm doing you a favor" He chuckled at her childishness of stamping her foot. Mentally she scolded herself, barmaids didn't stamp their feet when they didn't get what they wanted Estelle.

"How is lying to me a favor? I'm not asking for favors, I'm asking for employment. Come on Harry"

After informing her that she wouldn't be a good fit due to her looks and personality being too nice Estelle marched over to the bar and started saying what alcohol and liquors there were on each shelf and what they cost. She couldn't convince him with experience she didn't have, she couldn't say she even liked the taste of liquor but she knew she had to show something.

"You're basically a Peaky Blinder's girl, no doubt but-"

"They're fine with it, already asked"

"Girl-" Harry did not look like he was buying her story. Leaning on his broom Harry rolled his eyes.

"If i'm basically a Peaky Blinder's girl no doubt I can handle a few dozen drunken men. Give me the job"

"Demanding little thing aren't ya? Glad I'm not gonna be orderin' my rum from you" Shaking his head he went back to sweeping the floor.

"Ight, so its settled then!" Estelle clapped her hands together as she gave Harry a big smile to which he didn't return. Estelle had been given a quick run down on how to do everything officially by Harry once he had finished sweeping up. While she was a far cry from what Harry would have wanted he was pleased with how she quickly became familiar and comfortable moving around behind the bar.

Due to her short stature the pair had to get crafty and had put a few crates laying down behind the bar so she could step on them to reach certain things and serve people. Harry had originally shook his head and was about to go back on his decision when he had realized he could barely see her face over the bar due to the lower floor on the inside of the bars table top but height had nothing to do with the delivering of alcohol to patrons.

Staying on to start her first work shift Estelle soon became our numbered as men started pouring in trying to get beers before they all made their way to see the local football game. Estelle was just starting to kick out drinks and the lines get thinner as men started to go grab their seats when the snug window opened revealing none other than Thomas Shelby.

Having her back to the snug door Thomas Shelby's breath caught in his throat, he couldn't believe his eyes. He knew that black hair and that laugh that the girl let out when a man said something she found humorous.

Tommy's mouth was a gap when Estelle turned to see the snug door open. Stepping off the crate she walked over to the snug window as her hands became sweaty unsure what was to be said.

"I need a bottle of rum" Tommy said shifting in his feet as he suddenly broke eye contact and started picking at his hands.

"Estelle whatever he needs, it's on the house" Harry said leaning over to tell her as he served someone at bar closer to her.

"Okay"

"White or dark?" Estelle asked without faltering in her voice, she scolded herself for feeling nervous as if he wasn't just any other customer. She noticed how his jaw twitched as Tommy told her he didn't care what kind of run as long as it was the whole bottle.

Stepping away to get a bottle Estelle was taken off guard when she returned and Tommy asked, "Are you a whore?"

Estelle's eyebrows raised in disbelief that Tommy was asking her such a question. Her mouth fluttered open and shut before Tommy took that as her reply and continued.

"If you're not, or it you're only Arthur's whore, you're in the wrong place. I doubt Arthur know ya here," Tommys voice was low and almost hushed as he looked over his shoulder back into the snug. Estelle wanted to peek but knew she couldn't see over Thomas's shoulder to see it Arthur was with him. "suggest ya quit now before one or all of em have ya up against the bar-" Tommy spat out at Estelle. There was such venom in his voice that Estelle could barely blink, she stood staring into Tommy's eyes. All the concern and supposedly well intentioned words from the previous night seemed like just that, previous and irrelevant. Still holding the bottle of rum on the ledge on the snug door Estelle shoved it into Tommy's chest and shut the window in his face.

It wasn't too late in the night but it was nearing dark when Estelle finished her shift, said goodbye to Harry and the one other barmaid who was taking over as she took off walking back to Watery lane.

When she made it inside of the house she came face to face with a bloody Arthur.

"Oh my lord, what happened to you? Are you alright?" Estelle exclaimed putting her satchel down as she made hast coming to Arthur's side. Her fingers gingerly graced over his face and jaw.

"Nothing to concern yourself with Estelle, where were you?" Arthur grumbled out as he scowled at her. Wincing at the scrunching of his face Estelle walked him back to fall back into the kitchen chair.

"I was at the Garrison-" Estelle said turning her back to Arthur to put on the kettle.

"Why would you be at the Garrison? You taking up drinking?" Arthur questioned.

"I'm taking up the barmaid job the-" Arthur stood up so fast his chair pushed back falling back to the ground. The betting den silenced for a split second before going back to their business.

"The fuckin' hell you are! Do you know what kind of men frequent the Garrison, they'll hurt you if you don't give em what you want-"

"What's the difference between that and what you do to me? Huh?" Estelle rhetorically asked as she spun around crossing her arms in front of her. The look on Arthur's face was priceless and if it wasn't her that was being hurt by him Estelle would have laughed it the look was so comedic.

A creek from the stairs caught both of their attention as Polly emerged from the shadow.

"What the fucking hell is she talking about Arthur?"


	5. Chapter5

Silence rang throughout the Shelby house and the betting den. There was no more counting of coins or scratching of chalk on the chalk board. Nothing.

Estelle's breath clouded her hearing, and her ribs constricted her lungs crushing them beneath her own weight. Her eyes stayed focused on Polly's spot on the stairs despite Polly stepping into the kitchen and starting shout at Arthur.

Arthur did not even gain a chance to defend himself as Polly went full mother bear.

"What does that fucking mean Arthur? Are you hurting her? You're hurting a woman?Answer me! Tell me I didn't just hear Estelle say you were hurting her" Polly had gathered the attention of the whole betting den by now. Advancing fast towards her nephew Polly looked murderous. Her hands flew in the air as she spoke, her eyes narrowed, lips curled up in disgust as she slammed her hands flat against his chest over and over again.

Estelle couldn't move her feet were as heavy as bricks, no matter how much she wanted to run, to scream at them to stop, to tell them it was all just a misunderstanding she couldn't. Her feet wouldn't move and her mouth wouldn't form any words.

She heard commotion but her eyes couldn't move from that spot on the steps. It was as if someone held her back but no one was there.

"Polly" Estelle croaked out finally, she didn't know how long she had been standing there but all she knew was when she looked to where Polly actually was John was between Polly and Arthur.

"Sit down now!" Polly yelled pointing to the chairs, "Family only, everyone else out!" The command in her voice had the betting den quiet down within moments as everyone scurried away. No wanted to be on the wrong side of Polly but Estelle couldn't get herself out of this one.

Ada came running down the stairs, "What's going on?".

Finn came trailing after her hugging on her waist as they entered the tension filled room. What a sight they must have been, John suddenly having to take the mediator position and Arthur looking horrible but getting it worse verbally from Polly.

John pushed Arthur into the chair opposite of Estelle as he stood shaking his head, "Fuckin no idea, Polly's screamin' bout Essie being hurt"

Ada placed a gentle hand on Finn's back taking him along with her as she went to Estelle's side, "What's going on Elle? Did someone hurt you?" Her voice was hushed but it's not like the rest of the Shelby's couldn't hear her.

Putting her own smaller hand over Adas Estelle tried to call her friends worry for her, "nothing nothing just a simple understanding, I'm not hurt, no ones hurting me"

"Estelle! I heard what you said, you'd said that Arthur was hurting you!"

"Now listen here woman!" Arthur started to interject trying to explain everything away.

"Exactly! A woman that's what Estelle is, ya bloody lost it! Putting ya hands on a woman!" Polly cried, she had always said Estelle was like her very own daughter, Estelle wanted to reach out and comfort Polly as this must have been heart breaking to find out about your essentially adopted daughter.

Estelle sat forward in her chair putting her hands in her hair, trying to figure out what to say. This is not how Estelle wanted this to go, she only wanted to talk to Arthur about it, not involve everyone.

"Polly just let me explain!" Arthur shouted back at her.

"You better have a good god damn reason why ya abusin' the girl you swore you'd protect!" Polly picked up a dish from what Estelle figures was left over from lunch and launched in at the wall behind Arthur.

"Woah woah woah! Aunt Pol please please calm down! What's going on here?" Tommy roared as he came to stand in the door way between the betting shop and the home. His hands clinging to Polly's arms trying to get her to calm down.

"Arthur has been hurting my Estelle! I hear her admit it!" Polly was full blown hysterical, tears poured down her cheeks and she went to Estelle's other side caressing her hair. Estelle still had her head down in her hands she couldn't look at any of them in the eye.

"Explain yourself Arthur-" Ada snapped, it was clear she too was about to burst out in tears as Polly had.

Arthur looked between John and Tommy as if he was unsure he was actually supposed to do as Ada told him.

John took one hard step toward planting hands on the table hunched over glaring at Arthur, "Speak".

"For the record I didn't mean it, just my... me mind take over at night and I'm back in France" Arthur started slowly, it was as if saying such things out loud made it true.

"It's not like he means it" murmured Estelle. If anyone heard her they didn't indicate such

"You know you have a problem and yet you don't do anything to protect her!" Polly yelled, "under my own nose oh fuckin hell!"

Ada who might have heard Estelle, Estelle wasn't sure started to cry silently as she held Finn closer.

"How bad has it got? Tell me it hasn't gotten that bad" Polly begged as she tried to lift Estelle's face as she moved the girls hand away.

Estelle sucked her teeth in pain as Polly tried to gently move her hand by the wrist from her head to see her face. Her cheeks were red with embarrassment and shame.

"Estelle" Polly cooed as she pushed back the sleeve of her dress to display the nearly black hand print wrapped around her small wrist.

"What are you gonna start handling Ada like that too? Fucking hell Arthur" John said unbelievingly pointing to Estelle's wrist as he started pacing the kitchen.

"Please I'm sorry I know this must hurt lemme look at it my dear" Polly said as she cradled her wrist gingerly as she could touching it to see if anything was broken.

"Essie! What happened to you?" Finn exclaimed noticing her wrist, it was clear from his surprise and scrambled to her side hugging her.

With her free arm she hugged him back, "it's okay Finn I'm okay" Estelle comforted.

"Tell me it didn't go farther than this..." Polly defeatedly asked Arthur and Estelle.

"God fuck no! She's like my kid I-what-no never!" He shouted standing.

"No nothing like what you're thinking no!" Estelle's faced redden further making her as crimson as could be. It was in that moment that Estelle was very happy she had kept her head down, she couldn't believe she was just asked that question.

"Tommy..." Polly dragged out standing, "Why are you so quiet?"

Tommy's cold eyes glanced at Estelle who would finally looked up from staring at the table in front of her, "you knew didn't you?" Polly shouted letting Estelle hand fall as she walked over and slapped Tommy.

He didn't even have to answer Polly his steel eyes and lack of response to the conversation that had just occurred told her everything she needed to know.

"Oi! He only found out last night and I asked him to give me a day to sort it out!" Estelle shouted standing up, she might have too much of a coward to say anything before but Polly had no right to hit Tommy for her lack of bravery.

Tommy's eyes glazed over and his jaw ticked shut as he bit back a remark letting Polly act out.

"John take these boys, not men because men don't allow abuse of women, but these boys out of my sight, I aint stand the sight of em right now. " Polly commanded as she turned her back to Estelle.

"I'll go get the first aid kit for that wrist" Ada somberly announced leaving the kitchen but not before throwing a glare Arthur's way.

Arthur was the first one to leap up, he walked towards the door pressed a kiss to Estelle hair, whispering "I'm so sorry my little girl, I... I made some mistakes, I'm sorry"

Estelle nodded as she whispered back, "things happen, the war did 'tis not ya". Her small hand came up to ruffle his hair back out of his swollen face from his own fight earlier in the day.

Everyone else looked on somberly, it was true, the war had done this. If only there was a way to undo it.

After the boys had left Polly had tried to coach out the story from Estelle.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Polly brokenly asked, as she helped Ada wrap the girls wrist.

"It's not him but his night terrors from da war. Besides he always made up for it, he wouldn't even know until I told him the next day" Estelle explained trying to show the reasoning and how this was more complex than anything.

"Things are about to change in this house, I swear it nothin like that happen again here, unacceptable and not allowed in"

"I understand, I'll pack my things, I didn't want to create a divide in your family I'm so sorry, I'm really sorry Polly" Estelle said as they finished wrapping her wrist.

"What?" Ada asked in disbelief, "were not kicking ya out! Are we Pol? We're not doing that!"

"What? No no I meant Arthur isn't coming back into this house, he's gonna find somewhere else to stay for a bit-"

"No polly he's family and hurting too don't do that to him please I beg ya!" Pleading Estelle's hands came to grasp Polly's between her own as the older woman stood.

"You're family too Estelle, you may not have the Shelby name but you are a part of dis family, you're my sister" Ada cried wrapping her hands around her friends waist as if trying to keep her in the home by will power itself.

"One night he is, just so I can figure some things out. I'll go ring the pub no doubt that's where those hoodlums are and you two well we're going to have some fun and put this all behind us" Polly said taking a long drag from her cigarette, it was clear this whole situation was eating her up inside.

It was quiet late when the Shelby boys minus Arthur returned. The girls on the other hand appeared to just have started the night, they sat in the kitchen surrounded by whiskey and rum while an old gramophone played dancing music. The girls were up swaying to the music drinks in hand as they giggled forgetting the events of earlier in the night.

"Woah looks like the party is in here!" John said loudly over the music, causing the girls to take notice of the two men who had just come in.

"Come dance with us!" Ada smiled extending her hands to both boys but she stumbled before John could take her hand.

"You're drunker than Arthur when we left em" John slurred out as he helped stabilize his sister. Estelle's face reddened at the thought of Arthur getting drunk over his mistakes, over her.

"Oi, if ya lot home it's probably time we go to bed eh?" Polly asked as she started cleaning stacking their used glasses together.

"Come on Pol well clean it up in the morning, that is it ya can get out of bed ya drank half of our stock" John accounted looking over the nearly dozen bottles on the table.

Tommy finally spoke commenting, "well this is better than finding you all crying on the floor I suppose"

"Oh please! We're not drunk!" Ada shouted as she stepped out and away from Johns hands letting her plop down on her butt on the floor. "Okay maybe we're drunk"

Estelle giggled at drunk Ada stumbled up the stairs as John helped her throwing the room a glare, "this ain't what I thought I'd do when we came home" John muttered more to himself.

Polly laughed out loud before sighing and saying, "I'm too tired eh Tommy don't think you're off the hook for earlier but do help Estelle up to her room, she's drunk too"

"Oi! I'm not drunk!"

"You had two glasses, for one who ain't drunk often you best be drunk" Polly informed her as she turned and started off to her own room.

"I resent that comment in no light weight! I just don't think it tastes good!" Estelle whisper shouted after Polly's retreating figure who just waved her off at her words.

"Come on let's get you to bed" Tommy said walking over to Estelle who looked down at the floor as he walked closer. His stature, a good six inches taller than her, loomed over her as he stood.

"I'm sorry ya know?" Estelle said softly looking at him turning her face to meet his gaze.

"No apologizing nothing done" His face was stoic as he just looked at her, no emotion or indication he really accepted her apology.

"I put ya in a horrible position, I shouldn't have done it" Estelle finished, Tommy returned her nod as she started walking towards the stairs. She heard the clinking of whiskey bottles telling her that Tommy was cleaning up.

About half way up the stairs Estelle must have missed a step and started to fall backwards but before she could hit the stairs on her back she felt a strong body come up behind her.

"Looks like ya little drunker than ya thought eh?" His hands were settled on her waist his thumbs pressing into her back right about her butt as her back came to fall against his chest. His breath was warm against her neck as her hair was messily put up allowing his own cheek to touch hers.

"Sorry-"

He let out a harsh sigh, "Fucking stop saying that would ya?"

"My bad" Estelle mumbled as Tommy pushed her to standing up right no longer leaning against him as he placed his hand on her lower back. Her hands graced the railing suddenly realizing how dizzy she was as they started up.

"Now let's get you to bed" he urged as they started to walk up the stairs, Estelle could feel his eyes on her every step of the way.

His hand didn't fall from her lower back as they made it up the stairs but he continued to hold her there as they made it to Ada and her bedroom door. Twisting so her back was flush against the door and her hand on the doorknob she looked up at Tommy in the dark.

"I have a question Tommy"

"Ask it then"

"What would you have done if I let you handle it?" Estelle wasn't sure why she had let that question slip out but she had been wondering that since the prior night when he said he'd handled the situation.

The hallways was filled with silence as Tommy didn't answer right away. His chest puffed as he chewed his lip.

"That wasn't right of me to ask-" Estelle backtracked realizing that perhaps Tommy wasn't going to answer.

"I would have beaten him to a pulp, I would have protected you" Tommy cut her off his hand coming to plant itself on the door beside her head.

"You accused me of bein Arthur's whore, some how you protecting me I find 'ard to believe" Estelle choked out before turning the doorknob and slipping in.


	6. Chapter 6

The morning didn't come quickly enough. Estelle stayed asleep until the earliest of rays of sunshine poked through the curtains. The light was soft against her eyelids that had eventually started drooping more than normal just as the sun made its appearance. What she wouldn't do for a few more hours but she knew she needed to get out. Her shift at the Garrison didn't start till much later in the day and since no one else was up just yet careful not to make noise Estelle slipped on clothes, finding Arthur's room empty she quickly slipped out of the house and into God's.

The church was eerily quiet that morning. Every step Estelle's modest heels echoed telling the church mice of her presence.

Crossing her hand making the cross Estelle sat in the second row. Estelle wasn't sure what to do. What to pray for. What to cry about. What to hope for.

When her mother passed she had found comfort in coming to church occasionally with Polly. Polly had always said, even if you don't believe it's a quiet place to feel. While the elder woman never went religiously Estelle when she came with Polly she always felt at ease and could release her shoulders upon entry. The tension usually eased when she walked in but this time it was different.

Her heart was heavy, so many things had happened in the days between visits that Estelle burst into tears.

"God tell me what to do, how to forgive because I say I do but I'm still so angry, God please" Estelle cried out as she bowed her head, tear drops dropped off her cheeks and onto her skirt.

Waiting for God to answer and receiving no verbalized one Estelle begged God one more time deciding if he didn't reply she would leave and go to the next best thing, Ada, "Please God"

"I've been called many things but I've never heard someone refer to me as God or say please", his voice was airy and almost playful as he sat behind Estelle just off to the side. The church pew creaked under his weight. The priest hadn't even made an appearance yet leading Estelle to believe they were the only two in the house of worship.

"Get out Tommy" Estelle didn't even want to turn around and see him, but she couldn't help herself. She had to see his face, the face that plagued her thoughts constantly since the end o the war.

"Only God can kick me of here love", He quipped earning himself an eyeroll that he couldn't see in the dark church light. A few of the candle in the church died out and cast shadows on Estelle's face but highlighted Tommy's. His eyes glowed in the candle light.

"Why are you 'ere?"

"I ain't going to say this twice but I'm sorry I 'alled you a whore"

"Lying in the house of God Mr. Shelby?" Her voice was soft and teasing but underneath her cold blue eyes were dull ready for another disappointment, another lie.

"Its Mr Shelby now?" Huffing in disapproval he continued, "I don't believe but no I'm not lying to ya, I'm saying it here… because I know ya do believe and you'll believe me" Tommy said as he looked down shoving his hands in his pockets. His cold demeanor was cracking in her presence, his desire to have her believe him was surprising to Estelle. Eyebrows went shooting up as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth chewing on it as she cocked her body to look back at him in disbelief and utter annoyance at him knowing her so well.

"You've never been fond of me but now you act like I've wronged you, I ain't. Why? So if you're gonna be honest with me, if you ain't lying about be sorry, answer my question, prove it"

His coldness may be melting but hers was hardening. Pursing her lips together she swallowed hard as she lifted her chin willing her eyes not to let their waters fall freely once again.

Yet her eyes were red and puffy giving away her weakness that she fought so hard to uphold,

"Jealous, I want what Arthur has so I'm fuckin jealous! Alright, you happy?" Tommy shouted his hands flying out of his pockets to jerk in front of him standing up from the pew.

"Jealous of what? Him being older? His mustache? Arthur having more responsibility than you in the business? None of which have to do with me, why you act like you can't stand me!" She whisper shouted, she just couldn't believe, but she was in the house of God and as a want to be good Catholic she knew not to raise her voice.

"Jealous he has you, has you in his fuckin arms, makin ya laugh, the kisses you put on his cheek, I'm jealous of him because you love him!" Tommy on the other hand full blown shouted, wanting the heavens to know and to get his reasoning for such behavior to get through to her.

"I love him like a father", Estelle wasn't following, her brows furrowed as she shook her head furiously her hair fanning out as her head went left to right.

"I… I-fucking hell… I don't want you to love me like a father" Tommy declared stepping around the pew to stand in hers. At first his hand reached down to thumb away her tear that eventually escaped her overflowing eyes completely overwhelmed with everything finally coming out but then his lips found hers and her body was up pulled against his firm front. A hand wrapped around to the back of her head and another around her waist holding her flush against him.

His lips were soft against hers as they pressed against her slightly a gasped lips. The hand behind her head angled her face to give him more access as Tommy let his tongue slip across her bottom lip.

It wasn't until his tongue sought entrance that Estelle's mind caught up to what was happening. Small hands found his neck one on either side. Her mouth opened granted him entrance as his hand around her waist held her tighter against him.

After a few moments of exploring one another's mouth they broke apart, Estelle lowered her heels to the ground, unsure of when she even went up on them.

When their lips separated their gazed slowly met, Tommy's eyes opened first and he watched Estelle lower herself as her eyes peeled slowly open to meet him. A pink flush on her cheeks and the blue in her eyes seemed more vibrant that ever. The coldness she had been trying to put up cake crashing down.

"Tommy..." Estelle started to say unsure of what she was supposed to say after that though so she let her voice trail off.

"I'm jealous because I want you, I fancy you Estelle" Tommy said matter of factly, his cold blue eyes grew lighter as he admitted his feelings to the object of his affection.

"Am I a passing fancy?" Estelle's voice quivered as the words came out. Her heart held so much hope, her eyes brightened in hopes of her fairy tale answer.

Tommy's moth fluttered open for half a second before it shut right his lips forming a pressed line.

"I should be going to work" Estelle said nodding in understanding at what he couldn't verbalize.

She was a passing fancy. He had called her a whore. Why did she ever think he would see her as someone equal, someone he wanted to grow old with? They both lived in the same house, lived similar lives, loved the same people but they wouldn't love each other the same.

Her desires did not match his and so she took her leave. Scooping up her coat off of the pew she exited opposite of Tommy letting her slow strides give nothing away about had badly she wanted to run. Run away. Run away from Tommy and away from his omission.

Tommy stayed, throwing his cap off on the pew in frustration once he heard the Church door shut. Estelle was gone and Tommy was left in the house of God.

Estelle's shift went relatively smooth, one bar fight happened but it wasn't too much out of the ordinary. Some drunken man had bumped into another and didn't apologize. It had ended as quickly as it started and Harry didn't even care it was such a small fight.

Some new girl had started working in the pub that morning. Estelle gave a questioning look to Harry when he introduced them.

"Estelle this is Grace, show her around, she's new" Harry had said as he quickly walked away not enjoying the skeptical look being thrown his way,

"It's nice to meet you Elise" The blonde had greeted with a smile but the shake was too soft giving away her past about working in a bar in Dublin. Estelle's hands weren't rough by any means, but compared to Grace's smooth, undamaged and delicate hands she knew the girl was lying.

"Estelle, my name is Estelle, Greta" Estelle had casually corrected throwing in a different name for Grace. Usually she wouldn't have been so cold but she was in such a sour mood the words came out of her mouth without a second of hesitance. Before the girl could reply Estelle swiftly moved past her and back to serving the patrons. Grace hadn't bothered her the rest of the day but when the Shelby boys slipped into the snug without saying a word to Estelle Grace was the one to serve them their bottle of rum.

It had been Tommy that ordered a bottle of rum and Estelle couldn't help but notice as Grace smoothed her hair and wiped her brow before she went to give him the bottle requested. Estelle managed to seek a few glances at the man without him giving any indication that he noticed but then again it was Thomas Shelby, he had eyes in the back of his head at all times.

He said something to Grace that made her shut those doors sharply but Estelle was glad someone else was tired of his games today, it made her feel slightly more validated in her own anger towards him. She was no fool. Estelle knew exactly what the Shelby's did, hell she helped them in the betting deans she knew what was going on. She supported it. Estelle just didn't think that their line, theirs and her own, line of business excused them of not being any more upfront and honest with their feelings in regards to matters of the heart. Accepting such fleeting and unstable answers about their intentions when it came to love Estelle wasn't about to bet on them.

About halfway through her shift Estelle was so fed up with Grace's ability to work and not eavesdrop on people's conversations that she told Harry she needed a smoke break and stepped outside the side door of the Garrison.

"Before ya stalk off let me say this, everyone's been too willin' to make me happy today, tellin' me what I want to hear, I know you're angry with me and be honest, thus me askin' you" His voice was clear and refined, his posture was confident, his head cocked down with his signature cigarette in between his lips as he leaned on the side of the Garrison. Not expecting to find him out here Estelle asked why he was there, how he knew she'd gone for a smoke break.

"I was leaving the front went I saw you make for the back meaning you either were going to one of those bedrooms which I knew wasn't happenin' or you were coming out here"

Satisfied with Tommy's answer she asked him what he wanted.

"Your assiatnce in picking a race horse"

Flicking her own cigarette Estelle inspected the man in front of her, it was clear he was coming at this from a business perspective. He knew her ability to read people and horses, she was always able to read people's intentions and horses' abilities. It was her few gifts, not good with math or in school, couldn't cook or bake but could read you like an open book. That is, anyone other than Thomas Shelby, the rest of the clan she could read like directions simple and direct but not Tommy.

She laughed as him before realizing he was serious, "Is Arthur going?" 

"Not if you don't want him to" He was still being considerate Estelle mentally noted wondering what that meant after her sort of rejection.

"Why not Ada? Ada would be brutally honest too"

"You know the most about horses" He offered flicking his cigarette to the ground stomping it out. No argument there, Estelle had always read about horses in school and had even rode a few horses a couple of times back when she was a young girl. When working as a mother's helper for a few years when she was about ten the father had a horse had let her care of the horse in exchange for a few riding lessons. While the lessons had been anything for formal or coming from someone who was prestigious but the man knew about breeding winning race horses she had learned their behavior.

She watched a few people pass as the seconds ticked on before replying. Her answer was immediately yes when he asked but her thoughts kept going to what it would be like to ride on the horse with Tommy. What his body would feel like against her back keeping her close. She needed a second to squash those thoughts in her mind before she allowed herself to get anywhere with him and a horse. She wouldn't have her desires dashed all in one day.

"I'll go" Estelle resigned as she un folded her arms turning to go in.

Tommy smirked as he turned to leave, obviously pleased with how he negotiated and persuaded her coming, "I'm not going for ya, I'm going for Arthur" Estelle informed him her hand on the handle, his smirk dropped and he nodded in understanding.


	7. Chapter 7

Midday Estelle's shift was over, paycheck in hand she made for the Shelby household. She was so lost in thought she hadn't even realized she had arrived to her destination. It was as if her feet had carried her without her mind being present.

Before stepping up to the door Arthur beat her to it and came out stopping in his tracks as he locked eyes with Estelle. The noises from the street were deafening as it told the difference in greetings. Their typical greetings weren't made standing five feet apart but with a quick good morning or hello hug. The air was thick feeling as if they weren't supposed to interact still feeling of the sting of the previous yelling. The two hadn't seen each other since the last night when Polly kicked him out, not even a peak at the Garrison. Arthur took a step down off the stoop as he scratched the back of his head. Her fingers tighter around her paycheck in her pocket as she took a shaky breath.

"Estelle-" he started to say but was quickly taken off balance as Estelle closed the few steps between them and wrapped her hands around his waist.

Taken back didn't begin to describe what Arthur was feeling, stunned it took him a second to react throwing his cigarette on the ground. His eyes were still as big as pies as he wasn't sure what Estelle was truly feeling and what she had said last night in order to protect him from Polly. Just thought of that alone, that someone who wasn't truly blood family would go and protect them boggled his mind. Let alone a young teenage girl, the same one he had been unintentionally harming.

Strong arms encompassed her rubbing her back comfortingly as she held him tight, "I'm so glad you're okay, you're coming back aren't you?"

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" Arthur questioned pulling her back to look at her, his own face was plastered with his signature smile but his smile didn't reach his eyes. "Come on love, you know I wouldn't leave you"

She smiled up at him, and quickly pulled him to her again. She had time to think and realize it wasn't Arthur she needed to forgive it was herself for feeling what she was feeling in regards to Arthur being her stand in father/brother figure and her feelings towards Tommy. A kiss was pressed to her hair as he started to explain he had spoken with Polly.

"Poll said that?"

"Ay, she wanted to set some rules as she call em, basically if I'm drunk I ain't coming home unless I'm sure ya asleep so you don't gotta worry about my terrors" Arthur shifted his weight between feet uncomfortably with Estelle's arms still around him. Her head lay on ribs below his heart but she could hear his anxious heart beat.

"I just wish they would go away" Estelle wished aloud. The hard chest rumbled in response as Arthur chuckled.

"Ay, Me too sweetheart me too"

The two released each other as Tommy came out of the house with John following behind. John clapped Estelle on the back pulling her into a side hug as he joked with Arthur.

"Aye listen to this, we ought to find a horse that's got the Shelby charm"

"It's gotta be a solid racehorse we ain't looking for looks John" Tommy commented, his eyes briefly flickered to Estelle but his face gave nothing away. Jaw clicked tight and his business demeanor was up, no vulnerability only calculating eyes.

"Poll always said we acted as if we were raised in a barn! Nows our chance to find our long lost sibling the race horse!" John pointed out looking for Estelle for support in his own personal quest.

"True but if it looks anything like you it be uglier than hell!" Estelle pointed out laughing poking John in his ribs with her elbow.

Tommy snickered as Arthur burst out laughing. Red faced John tried to retort switching his toothpick in his mouth.

"Oh that was a good one little Essie!" Arthur exclaimed holding his stomach as he continued to laugh at John's expense. Finn came bounding of the house, wide eyed and smiling he came up next to Tommy.

"Oh you're just rotten you just wish you could get with a Shelby! Instead of being forever alone" John laughed off as he jabbed back as he turned to hop into the car leaving the girl with his two brothers.

"I for one want to be alone rather than truly unloved, besides at least when I know I found true love I wouldn't have had to pay for it!" Estelle shouted after him hinted at the not so well kept secret that John went to go see Lizzie Stark a very well known whore.

"Come on you fuckers, let's go get this business over with, ya? Wastin precious fair time!" John shouted from the car utterly irritated he laid on the horn.

"Eh Finn, you know you're going to meet us at the fair with Poll and Ada? Why you out here?" Tommy asked his youngest brother.

The boy shrugged but scurried back in side as Tommy promised him to go on the ferris wheel at the fair just Finn and him.

One very long car ride later the foursome eventually came to a stop. A fucking stop at the Lee's that is. Estelle wasn't allowed to know the whole story with the Lees but she had over heard enough through the years that she was very aware that they were not people that the Shelby's liked or wanted to interact with at all.

"This suddenly makes sense why Tommy didn't want to answer your question about where this horse was gonna be from..." Estelle remarked to Arthur who slung his arm around her shoulder as they stepped out of the car.

The entire car ride Tommy had avoided answering the question of where he had sourced this horse they were going to see was from. Instead he had thrown glares in the rear view mirror to Estelle who was tucked in the back with Arthur whenever she tried to say she needed to know where the horse had been kept in order to know about what kind of horse he would be. Estelle knew there was an underlying reason for the glares but chose not to address it.

A few conversations in regards to business had occurred between the men but Estelle just watched the scenery pass by as they made their way out of the city and into the country.

It wasn't long from when they had all stepped out of the car for a man to come right up to them.

"Tommy!" The man shouted walking up to them.

"Johnny Dogs" Tommy greeted, the two exchanged pleasantries as Estelle spotted a nearly pure white horse being led up the hill their way by a little boy.

Tommy walked forward from the group talking with the man as Arthur and John exchanged irritated and hesitant looks. Estelle on the other hand went right up to the horse. She smiled at the young boy who silently handed her the lead, thanking him she ran her hand along the horse's neck.

Tommy soon made his way from the man to Estelle and the horse. Estelle didn't notice Tommy come up but his voice from behind startled her, "What do you think?"

Jumping in her skin slightly she focused on the horse.

"Looks quite strong, feels strong in the hands" Estelle spoke as she ran her hands along the horse's legs feeling the muscles. "He has a racing heart but-" her eyes drifted to the boy who had handed her the reins, something about his eyes and the way he looked at the horse told her something was off.

"But what?" Tommy asked coming to pet the horse's head before he was interrupted.

"Hold on a minute, you're not swapping the family car for a bloody horse" Arthur said getting defensive as Johnny Dogs came over inspecting the car like Estelle was inspecting the horse.

"Of course we're not swapping it huh!" Johnny Dogs said as the Lees shifted where they stood a few feet away, clearly they weren't fully involved in this deal, "That would be mad!"

"We're going to play two up" Tommy said stepping away from the horse and Estelle taking a drag off his cigarette.

The two men stepped together and flipped two coins in the air. Bending down they silently pick dup the coins spit in their hands and shook on their deal. Everyone especially Arthur looked on in almost horror as no one knew what just occurred.

Tommy handed Johnny Dog the keys causing Arthur to exclaim that his brother was a bloody idiot. The eldest's outburst was short as Tommy explained he won it was just that he promised he'd have a spin in the car if he lost. His hand waived dismissively.

Estelle heard the Lee boy laughing at the family dispute that had just occurred, internally Estelle wanted to shrink, she knew what was about to happen.

"Are you Lee boys laughing at my brother?" Tommy asked them stepping forward. "Are ya?"

No answer but the three Lees stepped forward edging for a fight, "Eh? I asked you a question!" Tommy shouted taking another step forward widening his stance.

"Tommy! Tommy come on! It's just a craic!"Johnny Dogs exclaimed scampering back between the two parties trying to defuse the situation from escalating further, "get your family out of here and go enjoy yourselves at the fair before they start a war huh?"

Johnny Dog's reminded them of the Shelby's grandfather's king status among the Gypsies and his reasoning would have worked if it wasn't for one small craic the Lees made next, "Yeah but his mother was a Diccody whore"

Before Estelle could hide behind the horse or anything for that matter she watched as Tommy trend black around pulling his cap off, slicing the man's eyes with his razor blade in his cap. One blood curdling scream later there was a full blown war.

Arthur and John with great speed joined in the fight, tearing the Lee men's faces up with their razors. Estelle held the horse's head to her own trying to not watch what she knew was going on. The blood didn't bother her but the fear that the Shelby boy's would be hurt kept her eyes away. Looking the opposite direction trying to blur out the screams of agony from the Lees Estelle saw the young boy at the horse's tail, standing up from his previous crouching stance he took off like a bullet into the hills.

Estelle was starting to get a bad feeling and it wasn't because of the fighting.

The ride home was even quieter then the drive out. The boys were full of angry energy but spent at the same time. Estelle didn't mention anything about the horse, it didn't matter much now.

Once back in the city they soon realized something had happened in their absence. People's furniture was scattered in the streets, people picking up their belongings, window smashed and people crying.

Everyone's faces showed their shock until they made into the Shelby house hold were Polly filled them in on everything that happened.

With Ada not being home and no one knowing where she was Estelle watched Finn in another room. The two were busy drawing horses, or as much as Estelle could with some stiffness in her wrist.

"What are they talking about in there? Why can't I be a part of it?" Finn grumbled as he erased his horse's head.

"Sometimes adults need to talk about things that children aint need to be hearing, its all to keep you safe" Estelle reasoned to the child, it was clearly tough on Finn to be separated from his brothers. Not only in age but when there was physical separation between them, he was often left out of outings as he was too young for drinking or killing.

It was no secret to at least Ada and Estelle that Finn would press his ear listening in against the door of the betting room when family meetings were held. He tried so desperately to please his elder brothers and yet they never made time for him, it broke Estelle's heart.

She knew what it was like to be discarded by family even if they never left you. It wasn't until their mother died leaving her as his responsibility that he started to actually take interest in his sister, caring about her and wanting to be a good brother.

"Finn you know your brothers love you right? Protecting you is all they wanna do" Estelle told him stopping her own sketching to watch his reaction.

The boy's eyes narrowed while he drew, the lines growing darker on the page as he pressed down harder, "I know but I'm not that little anymore I'm almost 11! I ain't a so little anymore" his voice cracked giving away the hurt he no doubt felt from their separation.

"There's... there's things in this city that can hurt you, they're just doing what they think is best"

"I know things, I listen when no one thinks I am" Finn said proudly but his face fell quickly when Estelle told him otherwise.

"Oh I know you press your ear to door-"

"Don't tell Tommy-" not real fear but fear of not following the rules quickly took over the boy's face as his eyes went wide and mouth agape.

"I won't. If!" Estelle raised her finger in the air, "if you tell them how you want to spend time with em"

"They don't want to spend time with me"

"How do you know?"

"I just know"

"I bet if you were to tell them like you told me they'd understand, sometimes people just need reminding"

"Reminding of what?" Tommy asked coming to stand in the doorway. The two sitting on the ground looked up at him, Estelle's eyes lingered on Finn clearly seeing his distress but eventually looked at Tommy.

"Reminding of how to show one cares about the ones they love" Estelle spike softly glancing at Finn before back at Tommy. He nodded as if he agreed with her statement

Squatting down Tommy picked up Finns sketch, "this is really nice Finn, did you do this?"

"I did! It's supposed to be the horse you all went to go get today, Estelle describe him to me, wish I could have seen em..." Finn rolled out as he looked up at Tommy wide eyed.

"I think this is as good as a picture" Tommy's other hand came to tap the image, Finn smiled wide as he finally got the attention from his brother that he so deserved.

"Really? Do you want it, you can have it if ya want Tommy!" Finn encouraged as he stood up, Tommy stood too but Estelle stayed sitting.

"I'd love that Finn, thank you. What else can you draw?"

Seeing the young boy's face light up as Estelle silently reorganized the drawing materials that were scattered on the floor, "He still wants to go to the fair", she whispered to Tommy in her passing as she left the two alone. As she was closing the door Estelle heard Tommy offer to take Finn to the fair.


	8. Chapter 8

Seeing the young boy's face light up as Estelle silently reorganized the drawing materials that were scattered on the floor, "He still wants to go to the fair", she whispered to Tommy in her passing as she left the two alone. As she was closing the door Estelle heard Tommy offer to take Finn to the fair.

Estelle had been pleased with herself, she had gotten Finn to open up a little and perhaps even Tommy to work On truly building a relationship with his brother. She could see the remaining Peaky Blinders leaving no doubt to sort out the ransacking. After Estelle had talked with Poll about what she could do to help, the woman encouraged Estelle to stay safe.

"Don't worry about me Poll, I'm always safe-"

"Bullshit, you know I'd believed that until I found out ya'd been hurtin all along" the woman's eyes looked sunken in, sleep was clearly evading her. Her body was lax but Polly's voice still cut like a freshly sharpened blade.

"Please don't work yourself up over this Poll, I'm okay" Estelle comforted as she put her small hand over Polly's. "It hurts me to see you so upset"

"You always say that but this copper is getting close, too close so please protect yourself and if you want you can take a Peaky blinder with you on your way to and from work, I'll ask Tommy for ya" There was venom in Polly's voice, spitting out copper like it burned her tongue.

"I'll be fine as long as the ones I love are" Estelle spoke as she pulled Polly into a hug as they stood in the kitchen.

"You're too good for this" Estelle didn't know how to respond to Polly's comment, she didn't believe what the woman was saying, she could agree she had never killed, rarely raised her voice and often put anyone and everyone before herself but that was all done out of love. What Estelle knew was that she always knew she would flip that switch if someone she loved was hurt.

Polly let out a sigh releasing Estelle, quickly wiping her eyes the woman turned away and walked briskly out of the room. It wasn't often that Polly cried, Estelle only knew her to cry once in the time she knew her making it now two times in almost five years.

Finn came bouncing into the kitchen as he passed his aunt.

"Estelle!"

"Finn!" The girl said matching the boys enthusiasm.

"Tommy is takin me to the fair!" Jumping up and down.

"Yes yes I am, right after I go to Charlie's to stable the horse" Tommy laid out as he came stalking back into the kitchen, "Would you want to come?"

"Me?" Estelle asked bewildered her hand coming to ruffle Finn's hair, the boy tried to shrug away. It was surprising that Tommy was the one inviting her to go with them to the fair.

"The horse seems calmer in your presence" Tommy said, he grabbed his coat shrugging it on. The floor creaked as Tommy reached to hand Finn is own.

There it was, Tommy was asking her to go to stable the horse, not to go with to the fair. Estelle had misunderstood, while neither boys could read her thoughts Estelle's cheeks turned rosy in embarrassment at her own assumptions.

"Right of course" Estelle quickly spit out as she moved to the coat rack reaching for her own coat.

The small flicker of disappointment across Estelle's face as his words left his mouth wasn't lost on Tommy. It was immediate that he knew she had read something else in his previous words that wasn't there.

Tommy at the same time reached for her coat, their hands grazed but Estelle's pulled back almost immediately at the contact. With eyes clocking her Tommy held out her coat for her to slip into as he held it open. With one tight smile Estelle turned her back to Tommy as she slipped her arms into her coat.

Tommy gently tugged the coat over her shoulders from the back as Finn babbled about what activities and cool things he thought the fair would have. The boy's voice became background as Estelle felt Tommy's hand come to her neck.

His fingers were soft as they gently grazed her neck gather her hair in his hand lifting it free from the back of her coat. Tommy knew it wasn't from being cold that he felt Estelle shiver underneath his touch.

"Thank you" Estelle said still facing away from him she tried to disguise her shiver as she stepped forward away from Tommy.

"Why is your face so red?" Finn inquired cocking his head to the side, he looked concerned as he tugged on her hand, her other sprung up to cup her own cheek.

"huh?" Estelle's voice caught in her throat. Tommy on the other hand couldn't help but smirk knowing what the girl's face must have been like. He couldn't help but be happy that his touch encouraged such a reaction from Estelle, he had already told her that he fancied her but he was still figuring out if she truly was a passing fancy.

What Tommy did know was that he liked to see her blush because of him. It was time to get a move on, placing his hand on Estelle's lower back he guided her to the door saying, "Alright you lot, let's get going". His words effectively stopped Estelle from trying to answer his little brother's question.

His hand wasn't needed as Finn nearly yanked her out the door only stopping outside as he looked to Tommy not knowing which way to go. After telling Finn which way he boy continued to led them.

Estelle threw a questioning look over her shoulder at Tommy as he kept his hand on her lower back, she was being guided from the front and behind by a Shelby. She stumbled as she met Tommy's eyes, "You alright there love?"

"This isn't fair Tommy" Estelle's voice wasn't loud enough for Finn to hear but firm. It was a short walk and just as Tommy's mouth opened to voice his own confusion they came to where the horse was tied temporarily the Peaky Blinders guarding him dispersed to the sides of the street.

Finn eventually let go of Estelle's hand as he went to touch the horse's neck. Once the boy's hand left her own Estelle nearly jumped away from Tommy. She had forgiven herself for feeling for him but she knew she couldn't go for anything with him if she knew it might not work out. Without a doubt there would be a divide created if their hypothetical relationship went sideways, either it be between Polly and Tommy or Polly and herself she wouldn't make that woman someone she considered a second mother be put through anymore pain than she already had endured.

Thankful for the presence of the other Peaky Blinders which were no doubt stopping Tommy from saying anything Estelle made a rash decision and went up to one of them she knew as Lucas. Charlie could be seen sitting at a table off to the side.

"Would ya be a dear and please give me a lift?" Not trying to flirty but knowing she was a young pretty girl a smile spread across Lucas' face as he held out his hand to her. Finn was still busy petting the horse as he combed through the horse's mane with his fingers. Walking her over to the horse hand in hand bent up at the elbow Lucas took a hold of her waist and hoisted her up on the horse.

Lucas avoided Tommy's cold eyes as he hastily untied the horse from the post it was kept at. If one could untie a knot angrily it was Thomas Shelby.

"Mr. Shelby, I'll meet you at Curly's" Was all Estelle said as she swung her other leg on the other side of the horse and spurred him into a trot towards Curly's stables.

It was one of the few times in Thomas Shelby's life that he hadn't seen that coming.

It was ten minutes until Tommy and Finn got to just outside the Garrison, just about rounding the corner to the stables when Estelle came galloped the horse over to them.

"Curly wasn't there and I didn't know where ya wanted 'em" Estelle explained as she patted the top of the horses head from where she sat.

"Ya took off with 'em so fast Essie! Tommy said I can't ride him until I've at least learned from ya" Finn ecstatically explained as his hands flew in the air around his face telling of his excitement.

Tommy had a slight bit of a frown and a tenser than usual jaw as he looked at Estelle. She wondered if it was her that he was cross with or if had something else had happened. Once Finn had dropped his hand to use to show his excitement Tommy had crossed his arms. His stature from above made Estelle's stomach do a flip. Having Tommy's face soften at her made her heart a little melt despite her trying to stay away.

"Didn't get to test em out before, thought it'd be a good as a time as ever, what don't you trust me?" Estelle pretended to be a little shocked.

Tommy smirked chuckling at Estelle's dramatics, his hand shifted in his pocket and Estelle wondered what he was hiding in there.

"Thought nothing of it just would have rathered you have taken off with me seated behind ya" Tommy's frown shifted further setting only to quickly morph to a teasing smirk as Estelle's eyebrows shot up. She could almost feel it, his chest pressed against her back his thighs right up against her own, heat rushed to Estelle's cheeks yet again. In attempts to combat it she tried to narrow her eyes hoping if she physically responded in a different way her mind would follow after and make her not act like a boy shy girl.

"So I didn't have ta' walk obviously" Tommy said spurring further annoyance as his intentions of cutting of his sentence caused such a reaction.

"Obviously" Estelle mimicked shaking her head slightly.

It wasn't until Grace spoke that any of them noticed she had been perched on the step of the side door of the Garrison. She took a long drag as if she couldn't help but take one before speaking, "Tis lovely horse, what's his name?"

Finn was the first one to speak as his company's mouth just hung open slightly in surprise as the girl's butting in.

"He doesn't have a name" Finn announced eyeing Grace up and down as if he was trying to establish if he liked her or not.

"Poor boy deserves a name don't you think?" Grace pondered out loud as she flicked her cigarette on the ground. The horse stamped the ground as if telling Grace to hurry up with whatever had her butting in. Estelle shared the sentiment but only watched from where she still sat.

"Do you have something to say to me?" Tommy cut firmly putting his hand on Finn's shoulder pulling him back to him.

Grace's eyes flickered to the young boy giving him a tight smile, "The other night you came into the pub when I was singing. You said singing wasn't allowed. I'd like there to be one night a week when there is singing. I think it would be good for everyone"

Tommy looked off to the side avoiding answering but Grace persisted, "Saturday nights? Harry was too afraid to ask you so,…"

Grace stepped towards Tommy as she tucked a golden wave behind her ear, "But you're not?"

"I am" Grace stated firmly her head tilting up slight as she continued, "But I love to sing"

"You sound like one of those rich girls who comes over from Dublin for the races, do you like horses?" Tommy asked, Finn looked up at him quite confused looking a look that was for once shared by Grace as well.

Estelle decided to slide off the horse on the opposite side from the others. The horse seemed to be the only one who took notice as his head moved to her. Her heels softly padded on the ground as she held her hand out to Finn who moved from Tommy's arms to hold hers as he too came around to the other side of the animal.

"How would you fancy making some extra money?" Tommy barely registered Finn's movement as he stepped forward, his feet were wide in a strong stance.

"Doing what?" Grace asked curiously as she stepped towards Tommy again as if challenging him.

"Dig out a nice dress. I want to take you to races" A playful glint in his eyes danced across the blue as he swung on the horse himself leaving Estelle and Finn to be the ones to follow after him. Grace didn't need to give him a verbal answer, her blushed face told him everything he needed to know. She was more than willing to spend more time with him even if she wasn't sure what the job ensued.

Estelle didn't need to spare a glance over her shoulder as she knew Grace was no doubt watching Tommy ride away, she didn't need to see the golden haired beauty fawning over him any longer. Finn and her wasted no time in walking off after him. Estelle couldn't help but feel her chest restricting while Tommy invited that barmaid to the races. One minute he was flirting with Estelle and the next he was asking other woman out in front of her, Tommy was giving her some serious whiplash.

Once outside the stables Estelle knew she still needed to tell Tommy about the bad feelings she was getting from the horse, not that she thought that the horse wouldn't be a great race horse no doubt winning race after race but that there was something wrong with him. When she had rode him to Curly's originally he had favored his front right hoof and Estelle had a feeling it meant something had happened to him. Something to do with the boy that handled him before they took him from the Lees.

"Tommy?" Estelle called out as she and Finn walked into the stables.

"In here"

"Can we talk?"

"Jealous are we?"

"What?" Estelle scrunched her face up confused on how he would have known such a thing.

"About Grace?" Tommy cleary wasn't on the same track as her.

Estelle giggled as she cupped her hands over Finn's ears, "I'm not jealous of Grace by any stretch, I don't want to be jealous of a girl you no doubt are going to whore out for something. I want no part in that, made my position clear I thought. I wanted to talk 'bout the horse, you know business?" Estelle's words mimicked the wording that Tommy had used when he first asked her to come look at the horse. Throwing them back in his face only made it clear that she was serious that she wasn't going to do anything if she was a passing fancy.

The horse was being tied up by Curly who waved to Estelle not trying to pat attention, "Go on then" Tommy gestured his face hardening as he had let his own emotions slip.

Uncupping Finn's ears who turned giving him a questioning look for the reasoning but knew better than to say anything as the cupping of the ears was common for the Shelby women and Estelle to do in the home when they wanted to say something Finn ought not to know.

"I think the Lees placed a curse on him"

"A curse?!" Finn exclaimed as he ran over to the horse hugging his neck as much as he could reach startling Curly who was looking around as he expected the curse to jump out at him from the hollows in the stables.

"Curly look him over" Tommy commanded as he pulled a cigarette out of his pocket needing that familiar coating of his lungs to calm him.

It was later that night at the Garrison, no trip to the fair had occurred once Curly informed Tommy that a bad seed was found in the horse's hoof and Tommy had had to put the poor horse down. Finn had gone home, the rest of the Shelby family and Estelle were drinking away. Busy as usual Estelle was stressing over what she needed to do to fix her emotions, moving amongst the crowd Estelle found Ada just the girl she was looking for.

"Ada, I need some advice"

"Of course, advice on what?" Ada asked sipping her drink she placed it down on the bar. The noise was loud enough that no one could overhear their conversation unless they were intently listening.

"What would you do if you felt for someone you weren't supposed to? How do you stay away?" Estelle boldly asked as she downed her only drink of the night. If was going to ask Ada for her advice she needed some liquid courage.

Glancing at the empty glass Estelle slammed on the table Ada looked at her friend, "Essie-"

"I'm not tryna ask 'bout ya mystery man Ada, I'm asking for me"

With the clarification Ada gave her honest advice, "Ya can't fight what ya heart want, no matter how hard ya try it'll always catch up to ya forcing ya hand"

"Even if the man only think of me as a passin' fancy and I don't want that it'll happen no matter what?"

"There's no such thing as a passin' fancy, ...love... love, its so fucking lovely Essie, ya deserve every bit of happiness ya can get, we all do"


	9. Chapter 9

Estelle was silent trying to process her friend's words, "Is everything okay Essie?"

The use of her familiar nickname made her throat close. She wasn't sure how to answer without breaking down, everything was just so confusing Estelle and it was hurting her head. Nodding numblessly she glanced at Ada's glass. It was still full, the same glass she had been nursing all night.

"Yes of course, just trying to sort some things out is all" Shrugging Estelle tried to release her shoulders that she could feel crawling up to her neck.

"I see ya stuck in ya head Estelle, you're allowed to live and to take chances on ya self, take after ya brother and take a chance. Take a chance on yourself Estelle, you deserve to go after what makes ya happy"

"Life's for chances, not cowering" Estelle repeated the mantra her brother William always said. Ada's eyes sympathized with her friend but didn't comment further on her brother.

"Now who is this about?" Ada pressed as she looked at her friend, Estelle couldn't stand being under her watchful gaze letting her eyes find Grace behind the bar.

"No one, just dreams" Estelle convinced her friend as she thanked her for her advice and took her leave before Ada could wiggle the name out of her. After speaking with Ada Estelle was more confused than she had hoped to be. She needed some air, the one drink she had was going straight to her head and making her bad headache worse. She had said things she had only thought , never verbalized and it was scaring her how much she wanted to confide in her friend.

She grabbed her coat and tried to make her way for the door but before she got there Arthur snagged her elbow. Realizing who it was Estelle greeted him, "Hi!"

"Hi my little girl" Arthur slurred out.

"You're drunk" Estelle observer chuckling as she let herself be pulled into a side hug. Wrapping both her arms around him, his taller stature made him look down at her as she just tried to feel like she had before. Before she had finally admitted her feelings for Tommy.

"What's bothering you love? I promise ya I ain't drunk only two drinks-"

"I'm fine Arthur, I just- I'm just tired is all" Tommy could be seen across the room laughing with some Peaky Blinders, he looked nothing like Estelle had seen when he came back from putting the horse down only hours before. He looked like he was having a good time, laughing hearing and drinking.

"Do you wanna go home? Oi! Come here-" Arthur yelled to the nearest Peaky Blinder who came shuffling over. Her silence had indicated something she didn't want.

"No it's fine, ya wanna just get air with me?" Estelle asked shooing the Peaky Blinder away after mouthing never mind not needing an escort anymore. The man stepped back away nodding to Arthur as he went respectfully leaving them alone.

"Sure love" Wrapping her coat around her tighter Arthur guided her to the bar door and into the cold brisk air away from the clinking of glasses and drunken laughter.

"Your face seems to be healing nicely" Estelle commented as she paced away from the building. It was true his cuts were starting to heal, whatever Ada had put on them did him good.

"Can't wreck this money maker" laughing at himself Arthur leaned against Garrison. The lights from the windows lit Estelle's face as she stood opposite him leaving him in the shadows. The cold bricks pushed against Arthur's his back farther against it so his head fell back.

The wind whistled passed them encouraging Estelle to speak, "I missed the meeting, do I get to know what our plan is? For retaliation against the copper?"

"Aye, Tommy thinks if we play patriots and make a scene that the Churchill would like less than what we're really doing he'll tell the copper to fuck off" his hands slipped out of his pockets as he rubbed them against each other trying to make friction.

"What kind of scene?"

"Something about burning the pictures of the King so he doesn't have to see what he's doing to our poor patriots" Arthur's hands stopped their rubbing as he gestured about.

"Wow, that's an idea" Estelle murmured as she thought about it further, "But how would the news even get to Churchill?"

"No bloody clue, Tommy said he'd think out it eh? Does lot of bloody thinkin' he does"

"Ought to get a reporter to write about it, make it public or something"

"Oi! You've got a right brain ya do Essie, I'll bring it up to Tom, it's happening tomorrow"

Estelle hummed back, mentally making a note of it.

"I can read ya like a book if I read books Essie, whats really goin' on?"

"I think somethin' is gonnin' on with Ada" Her fingers twirled against each other as she paced back and fourth in front of Arthur. While her own issues plagued her mind she was also equally concerned for her friend.

"What do you mean?" Arthur swiftly pushed off the building and closed the gap between Estelle and him holding his hands on her shoulders keeping her in one place. Estelle saw fear in Arthur's eyes as he quickly shook her slightly before looking intently in her own.

"I think, now listen I'm only saying I think… but I think she's pregnant" Estelle's voice was hushed as her eyes darted to the Garrison door as if she was scared someone was going to come out.

"What-" Arthur started to shout but Estelle cut him off.

"Arthur please! You can't say anything, Arthur please, not until I know for sure-"

"Who's the fucking farther? Tell me at least that!"

"I don't know, I only know I found iron pills under her pillow, lots of them, too many. She's sippin' that single drink like its last thing to drink in Birmingham and wearin' loose fitting dresses. Its been nearly three weeks, I ain't know what to do-" Estelle was nearly in tears as her hands clutched Arthur's lapels of his coat. The fabric beneath stood no chance as it's smooth flatness was ruined under Estelle's hardened white knuckles.

"I'll speak with Polly in the morning she'll know what to do" Arthur's face was red with furry. The lines on his forehead deepened before he groaned and cussed at the wind.

"You're not going to do anything stupid are you?" Estelle asked hoping for an honest answer.

"I won't, alright? Bloody bloke needs to step up-"

"Promise?" Her pinky stuck out to Arthur, tiny in comparison Estelle's was soon connected with Arthurs as he agreed. After forcing Arthur to calm down before he went back in Estelle walked home.

Lying awake most of the night Estelle waited for Ada to come home but she couldn't keep her eyes open long enough. When Estelle woke she saw Ada sleeping peacefully on her bed full dressed in the clothes she wore before, obviously too tired from the night before to change out of them. Her friend wasn't even under sheets rather just laid across the bed, her shoes were in a little pile at the end of the bed's foot. Estelle noticed they had a little mud on them. Feeling overwhelmed with concern Estelle knew she needed to collect her thoughts before saying anything to Ada and decided to start her day instead of interrogation.

The next day Estelle was at the bar relatively early, there was quiet the mess from the night before to get started on. Sweeping and wiping down tables Estelle heard the door open. The sound of heels gave away who it was before Estelle even had to turn around.

"You don't work today, why are ya here?" Estelle asked, her voice didn't hold any tension but keeping her back to the woman told her irritation for her.

"I came to talk to ya"

"Why? Why Grace, what would you possibly need to talk to me bout?"

"I need a dress" With anyone else directness and honesty would have been something that attracted Estelle to people, what made them suitable friends but not in this case. Far from it.

"Do I look like a dress maker to you?" Estelle asked swirling around to face the blonde who looked for the first time since she had meet her, nervous.

"No but I bet ya know a dressmaker, a nice one" Grace said as she uncrossed her arms.

"I do" Estelle answered, she wasn't going to give the satisfaction of Grace being able to get the information out of her without her outright asking for it.

"Tommy asked me to go to the races with him-"

"I was there I know" Estelle muttered as she walked to the bar with a tray full of used bar glasses. She set about washing them as Grace continued.

"And! He asked me to wear red last night, I don't have anything red, so I need a dress"

"That's nice" Estelle started humming as she washed sensing her stress level rising at the mention of Tommy asking her to wear something for him.

"Would ya be so kind of suggest a dress shop?"

"Wow never thought ya ask"

Estelle had just finished writing down the name and address of a decent dress shop when Tommy himself walked in.

"Ladies" he said slowly as he came up to the bar snagged a bottle of something and called after himself as he made his way to the snug, "Estelle a word"

From his body language and his quick entrance it was safe to assume he wasn't planning on seeing both Grace and Estelle when he walked in to the Garrison.

"Here ya go Grace, tell Henrietta I sent ya and she'll take care of it" Estelle said suddenly feeling flustered as she handed over the slip.

Feeling it coming loose Estelle redid her apron she was wearing and started to the snug as Grace left.

"Yes?" She peaked her head in the door, Tommy motioned for her to sit. Sitting down opposite him she watched him as he poured himself a glass downing it all in one swallow.

"Where is she?" His voice was low as he sat forward his forearms flat on the table. His eyes were cold as they bore into Estelle's.

"I promise I told her a decent dress shop! She just left her ya could catch her if ya walked fast?" Estelle asked sitting back more than a little confused.

"Ada! Not fuckin Grace! Where is Ada?" Standing up Tommy knocked the glass over as he stood. Reaching out Estelle steadied the glass before looking up to Tommy who was fuming.

"I don't know, left before she was up this morning, why?"

"Ya know why! Now tell me where is she!" Tommy screamed, shrinking back from holding the glass Estelle turned her face away from Tommy towards the window.

"Your guess is as good as mine" She countered raising her voice a little as she wrung her hands together on the table.

"What's your fuckin guess then Estelle!" Picking up the glass he chucked it against the wall where Estelle kept her gaze. Gasping at the impact of small shards on her face Estelle stood.

The impact of the glass didn't break her skin but there were shards of glass caught in her hair. Both of their eyes darted down to the pieces in her hair surrounding her face.

"I won't tell ya unless ya calm down! I don't want Ada to have to deal with ya like this it ain't fair, she deserves to be happy about it if she wants ya know!" Estelle shouted back finding her voice.

Her heart was pounding so fast in her chest she swore that it echoed in the room. Small fists were made at her side as she stood her ground, she felt her stature shrinking as Tommy took a step in her personal space.

"Do you know who the father is?" His voice was softer but still held danger in it threatening to let loose again if he felt she was lying. This was the Tommy that made men cower in the streets letting him walk by, the appearance of calm but underneath was something deadly.

"Only had suspicions she was, clearly I'm right otherwise you wouldn't be here yellin bout it in ma face so no I don't know and I'm not sure I would even tell ya if I did" Estelle spoke lifting her chin trying to show she was honest and being firm in what she said.

"I'll ask one more time, where is she?" Tilting his chin down his cheek bones cut her with danger and intensity. His face was dangerous but his hand came to brush out the glass in her hair, it felt equally dangerous to Estelle who sucked a breath in holding it tight in her lungs.

"I would guess the theatre-wait Tommy I have to work lemme go!" Estelle shouted the last part as she suddenly felt herself being pulled from the snug and out into the streets only to be shoved in the car.

"I pity Grace, having to go anywhere with ya if that's how ya treat women now"

"Talk later about that too"

"Once I finally get a job outside of the business why is it ya lot keep dragging me more and more back in? Huh?" Estelle vented out loud as she pouted in the car.

With no coat, wet sleeves from washing the mugs and her apron still on having no time to take it off before her unexpected exit from the Garrison Estelle felt cold, and very much a fool as the car pulled up to the theatre. From the amount of cars parked outside it seemed to be a decently busy time.

"Stay here"

"Ya bring me only to make me stay in the car? Is that what we're doing now Mr. Shelby?" Estelle frustratedly called after him as he dashed into the theatre throwing the doors open after him.

It was a cold five minutes until Tommy came back out. He found Estelle bouncing her knee and biting her nails when he opened the car door. Tommy couldn't help but notice how anxious she looked, it was a wonder that someone could look so anxious and fragile could be living with the Shelby's and surviving for the most part in the Peaky Blinder's world.

"She needs you, ya have ten minutes get going" Tommy knocked his cigarette case getting one out as he opened the door of the car letting Estelle tumble out and run inside in search of her friend. She didn't need to ask what happened, she knew it was most likely had involved yelling and tears more than likely just on Adas side.

Following the trail of people who were exiting one of theaters Estelle ran down the isle until she found the only person.

"Ada" gasped out Estelle, her friend immediately got up and ran to hug her as she wept in her arms. It was clear that Ada had put up a brave from from Tommy as the tears were fresh and poured as if they had been brewing for too long.

"I love him Ada, I'm keeping the baby, I want to be happy!"

"I know I know, everything is going to be okay" Estelle murmured unto her friends hair as they sunk to the floor holding each other tight.

"Who is it Ada?" Estelle was almost too afraid to ask while she had her suspicions she still wanted to hear her say it.

"Freddie… Freddie Thorne"

When Estelle reappeared looking drained, her eyes were a duller blue and her cheeks were stained with the course of her tears.

The Shelby man was leaning against the car smoking what appeared to be his last cigarette as he banged his case against his palm but nothing came out.

Sliding in the front seat Estelle asked Tommy what he was going to do.

"I have no fuckin clue"

"Please don't take her happiness away, she loves him, don't we all deserve a chance at happiness with someone we hold dear?" It sounded like a prayer as she slouched forward cupping her head in her hands.

Tommy didn't respond unsure of what to say, he had calmed down since he first left but he still wanted to put fucking Freddie Throne in the cut but he heard Estelle. Heard but not listened, he needed to hash it out with Polly. She would have the most experience in the options.

But the words kept ringing in his ears, don't we all deserve a chance at happiness with someone we hold dear?

The ride was silent as they pulled up to the Garrison. Everyone was dealing with their own emotions and trying to find a path what seemed like a very complicated situation.

It was still empty as the bar hadn't officially opened yet so Estelle was in no rush to get out of the car. Taking a deep breath in for what seemed like confidence she spoke softly her hand on the handle as she looked over her shoulder at Tommy, "Not everyone is afraid of their feelings Tommy, don't make Ada afraid of her own" fleeing the car and it's silence Estelle made it to the front door.

Tommy let her words simmer in his mind as she went back to Watery Lane to the business but also to talk to Polly about the situation at hand.

It was dark when Estelle finished at the Garrison. It was a slow but steady night, many people had simply stopped in for a pint and then off to the fire.

The fire that Tommy had started.

Arthur had told Estelle about the pictures of the King being burned in order to draw attention to what the copper was doing to Birmingham and it's patriot citizens in hopes of Churchill yanking on the mans leash.

Finn had even snuck into the bar undetected at first to steal the King's picture off the Garrison wall. It wasn't until he stood on the bar itself to reach it Estelle noticed him. She had told him to be careful and reached up as she herself had to climb on the bar to reach the picture getting it down for him.

She didn't plan on staying long at the burning only enough to talk to one of the Shelby's before going back to their house just to know what she was going to walk into, screaming about Ada's love affair and impending baby or what.

Coming up on the burning Estelle could see the fire was large, nearly taking up more than half the street. Whatever chills she had felt before quickly went away as the heat from the flames warmed her so. Walking among the people and the various Peaky Blinders Estelle found Arthur first.

Arthur had his arm around some Peaky Blinder boy when Estelle came right up under his other.

Startled but not surprised by who it was Arthur kissed her hair, "How was work love? Anybody bother ya?"

"Nah nothing really happen too much" she replied leaning into him. Arthur has kept quiet about her working at the Garrison but it wouldn't stop him from worrying about the "type of men" that were patrons there. It was a nice way to show he cared but Estelle thought it was funny as she didn't see any of them as bad men just the normal type of men.

"Alright nothing to see here now get on get going!" Arthur said noticing the Peaky Blinder boy was watching Estelle a little too close for his liking, shoving him away with the arm that was once around his shoulder the boy stumbled away.

"Arthur that wasn't nice"

"I ain't nice" Arthur coughed out as he took a swig of a bottle Estelle wasn't even aware he was holding.

"Careful there buddy" Estelle teased tipping the bottle back down with her hand on the butt of it as it came up to Arthur's lips again.

Glancing down at Estelle Arthur pulled the bottle from his lips and threw it in the fire. Without warning the fire boomed a little at the liquor being thrown in. Estelle wasn't the only one startled as she seized closer to Arthur at the abrupt increase in flames.

Watching the flames Estelle found Tommy's eyes threw them. He was talking to some man Estelle hadn't seen before, someone who looked anxious.

"Arth, who's Tommy with?" Estelle asked turned her face to ask as she kept her eyes glued to Tommy.

"Ah I told em ya idea bout the reporter, that's the man I suppose, guess he thought it smart" Arthur shrugged as he clocked eyes with Tommy who threw him a head nod.

The two fell into silence as they both watched the interaction between Tommy and the reporter.

"Arthur, am I going to be walking into a war zone?"

"What?"

"At the house? With everything going on with Ada? I noticed she ain't here"

"Oh um I don't know you'd have to ask Tommy, last I knew two of em were yelling at each other in the kitchen"

"Oi" Estelle muttered in frustration shaking her head as she cast her gaze into the fire.

People were still coming with their paintings of the King tossing them in. The fire crackled and popped. The crowd was thick as Estelle made her way through the crowd to where tommy stood after telling Arthur she'd see him at home once she had talked to Tommy about Ada.

It wasn't a lie, she had wanted to talk to Tommy about Ada but she also kept hearing the words that hung in the back of her own mind. What did Tommy mean when he had said they'd talk later about that too? About her snide remark about Grace? About the fact that he had invited Grace not her to the races right there in front of em? Whatever it was Estelle wanted to know.

Weaving between Blinders and on lookers Estelle came up to Tommy.

"Can we talk?" Estelle asked once she got close enough to him. Tommy looked at her through droopy eyelids, taking one final drag of his cigarette he tossed it to the fire.

Motioning with his head to one the cars parked a few feet back but still lit by the flames Estelle went to get in knowing they'd need privacy for their conversation.

Sliding into the drivers side shutting the door Tommy asked, "what is it ya wanted to talk about?"

"Two things, one being what's going on with your comment of we'll talk later about this too, and the other what's going on with Ada" her words came out fast and squashed together in almost hope he wouldn't hear the first thing. At first she had looked at Tommy in his face when she spoke but when his eyebrows shot up and an amused look coated his regularly hardened demeanor Estelle watched the flames.

The seat was cold beneath her as she heard Tommy sigh.

"Estelle there's something's I'm still figuring out"

"What is there to figure out you know what you're doing, you're Thomas Shelby"

"When I invited Grace in front of ya it wasn't personal" Tommy tried to explain but once the words left his mouth he knew it wasn't true.

"Wasn't personal?" Estelle spat, her dark waves fanned out as she snapped her head to glare at him, "how was that not personal? Ya literally asked later if I was jealous!"

Estelle's hands gripped the seat on either side of her with frustration. Her knuckles were white from gripping them so hard, if she had cared in the moment she would have stopped before her nails dig into the leather seats imprinting their presence. The flames burned bright but the ones in Estelle's eyes burned out.

"That was rash I'll admit but I'm only using her for business, I figured it out. I wanted ya to know that" Tommy said sternly as he inched toward her on the seat. He noted her grip on the seat and let his hand wander from his own lap to the seat. It was the one thing Estelle did when she was stressed, whatever she could grip tightly she did as if hoping putting the tension in her hands would take it away some how.

As if memorized he watched as his own fingers grazed hers. Her fingers were stiff on the seat but her skin was so soft and delicate ivory skin. He barely got his pinky to dance over hers...

"This isn't fair Tommy, ya know how I feel..." Estelle spoke as she pulled her hand away from the encroaching hand. The hand she wanted desperately to hold.

"No I don't, ya never told me ya just left" his words bit her heart, it hadn't occurred to her that perhaps he didn't really really know.

"I can't-" her voice came out as broken crack.

"Why can't ya say it?" Tommy asked abruptly. A crackle from the fire mirrored the crack in Estelles strong facade.

"Because ya don't feel the same, I ain't makin a fool of myself falling for a man who doesn't feel the same, Tommy. Ya toying with me and while I may be a fool for saying I like you so doesn't mean ya get to be intentionally puttin' the knife in deeper" Tommy could see her eyes glistened with I shed tears.

"What if I was to take the knife out?" Tommy asked his eyes were flickering over every part of Estelle's face as if trying to read blue eyes to blue eyes.

"Are you saying you're going to kill me?" Estelle was confused as she was scared. She shifted up straighter.

"What? No! I meant tell ya I realized you aren't a passing fancy" Tommy said as he realized that Estelle's hands had at some point relaxed from gripped the seat he reached for it again. Scooping it between his hands Tommy looked at them, her soft pale one between his fit so well as if it was made to be.

"How did ya figure that out?" The pursed lips and tilting of her head away from him gave away her suspicions.

"When I asked Grace to the races, it felt wrong and as if I was betraying ya. Then I thought about ya with another man and I couldn't even put a face to em but I knew I would cut em" It was a sight to see as Tommy dipped his head and looked up at Estelle from under his lashes. His words held danger but his eyes showed her he was opening up, his face relaxed as he breathed out.

"Oh" Was all Estelle could gasp out as Tommy dipped his head a little more moving forward he caught Estelle's lips. Cupping her cheek in his hand Thomas' lips pressed against hers, melding their lips together as their bodies pressed against each other. Tommy felt her small fingers coming to graze his chin making Tommy smile into the kiss. Estelle hummed into Tommy's mouth as he pulled her by her waist to him.

Just as Tommy was about to deepen their embrace someone knocked on the glass behind him. Tap tap tap. Both of their heads snapped to the noise eyes wide as they took in who it was.

Arthur. It was fuckin Arthur.

Tommy was the first one out car talking to Arthur who seemed to be yelling. Estelle froze her hands still in the air when she saw Arthur. Her mouth hung open. Frozen as if staying still would tell her mind what to do or to say. Blinking rapidly Estelle tried to tell her brain to do something, anything.

It couldn't been a second later that Estelle was out of the car, nearly knocking shoulders with Tommy as she tripped out into the dark.

"Just lemme explain!" Estelle nearly gasped out as her hands splayed out in front of her as if trying to stop an impending fist fight.

"Why didn't ya tell me this was happening? Huh?" Arthur threw out lowly, even in the dark fire lit street it was clear everyone's eyes that were at the crowd were on them.

"Oh fuck off! All of ya!" Tommy screamed stepped through Estelle and Arthur to address the crow that quickly dispersed. The fire still burned brightly despite the different mood as Tommy turned back, Estelle as standing on the step up on the car as Arthur fists at his side stood with his body facing the both of them.

"Why didn't ya tell me?" Arthur demanded to know as he threw his hand to the ground. The anger rolled off of Arthur in waves almost as hot as the fire.

"It just happened, I would have told you-"

"Ya didn't even tell me ya were interested in Tommy, you're supposed to be my little girl, I'm pose to know you" Arthur said his hands came up to wring his face in utter disbelief. Scoffing more to himself than anything Tommy took a cigarette out of his pocket taking one out for himself as he handed the other to Arthur.

"I didn't want ya to be mad or think wrong of me, besides it ain't like I didn't know it wasn't one sided" Estelle breathed out her chest falling and rising quickly as she tried to steady her heart beat.

In the darkness outside the burning pile's reaches it was starting to get cold as the only sounds filled the air were crackling of wood. Estelle shuddered in the dark, it was in this moment that everything she knew or wanted could change. Snatching the cigarette offered to him from Tommys fingers Arthur went to speak but he closed mouth as if unsure what to say in response.

It was a few drags later that pulled on Estelle's heart strings before Arthur spoke, "I'm bloody happy for ya but I don't know which one to threaten, my brother or ma little girl. Guess I'll just hurt ya both if this goes sideways, mostly ya Tommy"

Estelle watched as Arthur's hands relaxed as he shook Tommy's hand in a silent agreement that he approved.

"Bout time ya got ya self a woman tho Tommy, Polly was really starting to worry bout ya"

"That went a lot better than I expected" Tommy said a little smile danced across his face as he watched Estelle's reaction.

"Really?" Clearly Estelle was expecting a different reaction to her stand in father figure. She couldn't help hide the shock in her voice as it went up a few octaves.

"Love listen, I guess ya can err go with Tommy, just don't go about getting pregnant on ya first time eh?"

"Arthur!" Estelle exclaimed mortified pulling her hands to cover her face attempting to hide what most likely a very deep red blushing.

Tommy chuckled at her embarrassment but stopped once Estelle threw a glare his way throwing his hands up playfully in defeat.

"At least this will put to rest the rumors of you and Arthur" Tommy chuckled as he walked over to Estelle tugging her down from the step up and into his arms. He was surprised about how naturally taking her into her arms felt and hummed we he felt her rest into him embrace.

With him wrapped around her Estelle twisted until she faced Arthur still secure in Tommy's arms, "Guess no more shoulder rubs for you, apparently I'm a spoken for woman" She chuckled joined by her men. The light hearted humor helped everyone take one final breath of relief at the way the situation turned out.

"But" Estelle continued, "going back to the topic of pregnancy, how is Ada and what's going on? What kind of damage control do I need to do?"


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Hi sorry schools been wack, I'd love to hear whatcha think this was a difficult chapter to write I never felt like I quiet got it right but I'm happy with how it turned out. As always I appreciate your feedback and enjoyment

With Tommy wrapped around her, Estelle twisted until she faced Arthur still secure in Tommy's arms, "Guess no more shoulder rubs for you, apparently I'm a spoken for woman" She chuckled joined by her men. The light hearted humor helped everyone take one final breath of relief at the way the situation turned out.

"But" Estelle continued, "going back to the topic of pregnancy, how is Ada and what's going on? What kind of damage control do I need to do?"

Estelle had pressed Tommy and Arthur for all the details on Ada but all they would give her was that Freddie was gone and so was the problem. It was a hard pill to swallow, understanding what Ada was going to go through, two kinds of loss. Arthur assured her there was nothing she could do to really help, but be there.

Both these realizations of Estelle growing up, Ada getting knocked up and the liquor he had been sipping thinking it wouldn't make him as drunk if he sipped hit him at the same time. He knew while he was calm and agreeable now everything and the reality of the gravity would come barreling in like a shot gun blast in the morning.

Arthur had agreed with his brother that it was for the best that with all this behind her Ada could eventually have real happiness. Unlike Arthur's inner turmoil it was written on Estelle's features how she felt. It broke Estelle's heart that the man Ada had given her heart and body to was no longer in the picture, she knew how hard it would hit Ada and she couldn't help feel for her friend.

Throughout the conversation Arthur could see how upset it all was making Estelle and pulled a flask out of his coat pocket downing the rest needing to keep the emotions out just a little longer. It was frustrating for Arthur to not only hear that he didn't know Estelle as well as he thought, only a few days ago he had to be told by Polly to realize she wasn't a child anymore, and even more frustrating to see her worry about something neither he or she couldn't fix. Relief drew over the couple despite their discussion of a new situation at hand but the same wasn't said for Arthur.

"Don't, Ada's a strong girl, she'll get through this" Tommy had whispered in her ear, his cheek pressed against her hair as he lead her to get into the car.

"Should I go with her?" Estelle wondered aloud turning back to face Tommy as she plopped down on the car's seat. Sliding her back on the passenger side of the seat by pushing on her hips getting her body to slide Tommy shook his head.

"Polls going with her, and I'm pretty sure they've left already. Don't you worry it's all settled" His voice was soft but authoritative. Clearly Tommy didn't want to speak more on the matter, no desire for his brows to furrow any further.

"Oh" Estelle felt heavy as she settled into the passenger side. She wished she had been there for her friend, perhaps taking the job at the Garrison was taking her away from people that needed her. Tommy saw the start of Estelle's nervous twitch of wringing her hands and slipped him hand between hers, sending a warm smile. Estelle returned his smile and intertwined their fingers.

"Arthur get in, come on we're goin home"

"I ain't" Arthur slurred out as he stumbled to the one of the other cars still parked surrounding the fire.

"Arthur!"

"I ain't going home, not now!" Arthur shouted as he started to walk off.

Tommy was about to get out of the car and no doubt forcefully pull his brother into the car when Estelle snagged his sleeve.

"He can't come home until he's either sure I'm asleep or he ain't drunk, remember the deal with Polly?" She didn't want to remind him of the deal but Estelle knew why Arthur was saying no.

"She ain't home, besides it's not like he's going to hurt ya not when I'll be there to stop it" Tommy said lifting Estelle's hand from his sleeve sliding out of the car he caught up with his brother who had walked closer to fire.

Due to the fire lighting the side of them Estelle couldn't see she couldn't gauge what was going on until Tommy was to come back and say. While Estelle was in the car alone she felt doubt creep in, was Arthur really not coming home until she was asleep or was he upset about Tommy and her. The thought kept nagging in the back of her mind, her brows furrowed further together as Tommy turned from Arthur. Tommy didn't look happy either as he came back to the car and quickly started the car, "Arthur is set on not going home till ya fast asleep, I told em you'd be asleep within the hour"

"Ight, so where is he going? Is he going to be okay? He is quite drunk and the Garrison is closed" Estelle worried aloud as she watched Tommy drive.

"Ya don't need to worry about em Estelle, he's a big boy he can handle himself"

"I know I just worry times, it's in my nature and we did just stir up his world with us, I'm just worried he's not saying what he's thinkin" shrugging she shifted to lean her head against the window so she could watch more comfortably.

"Is this what I have to look forward to? You always worryin about me eh?"

"I've always worried about ya Tommy" Estelle admitted chewing her lip. Tommy smiled at the girl next to him. His chest felt warm as Estelle's words came to rest in his heart.

The couple soon came to the Shelby's home and went inside. Upstairs Tommy walked Estelle to her and Ada's room.

Leaning against the door Estelle looked up at Tommy, he looked tired but that didn't dull his handsomeness. Planting his hand on the side by her head he spoke lowly, "Feels like we've been here before"

"Appears you are right" Estelle said dipping her head to look up at him through her lashes as the thoughts of how she was so anxious the last time filled her mind.

"But this time is different"

"How?" It sounded like a challenge but they both knew it was a request to change the narrative on this spot.

"Because this time 'm going to kiss you"

Closing the small gap between them Tommy pressed his lips against hers as his free hand pulled Estelle's hips to his arching her off the door.

Humming into the kiss Estelle let her hands wander to his neck down to his chest with light touches as if she wasn't sure where exactly to put herself. Her fingers brushed across the threads as if scared they'd be sharp enough to cut her. Estelle had boys she was interested in before her mother died before the war, but they never went this far, only hand holding, and once Estelle moved in with the Shelby's no boys were interested anymore as the danger kept em away.

Estelle couldn't help but open her lips when Tommy's tongue ran across them seeking entrance. Allowing him to deepen the kiss Estelle felt empowered in the thought Thomas Shelby wanted her, a handsome man wanted her, and gently took his bottom lip between her teeth tugging it a little. It was barely audible, it was raspy stuck in his chest but Estelle heard a rumble escape Tommy's throat as he worked the little fox he had in his hands.

Breaking apart for air Estelle let her hips fall back into the door as she tilted her head back breathing heavy thinking Tommy was also taking a second to catch his breath. Seeing the opportunity Tommy disregarded his lungs' need for air as he pressed open mouth kisses on Estelle's neck traveling down to the little exposed skin above her neckline.

Estelle audibly gasped at the contact and pulled on his lapels to get him closer. Small hands found the softer material of his vest and ran her hands over it relishing in the contact as he made work of the opposite side of her neck.

"Tommy?" Coming our more of a moan than a question as Tommy found a particular sensitive spot just beneath her jaw making Estelle's body respond in jerking slightly forward, Estelle tried to get his attention.

"Tommy?" She tried again this time earning a pull back from her man, his eyes were hazy as he searched her face.

"What's wrong?" His voice was husky and it almost made Estelle's knee weak.

"I'm really over heating, my head feels dizzy" it was then that Tommy noticed how red her face was, nearly beet red, clearly he wasn't the only one getting worked up. Breath caught in her throat as her mind rushed. Her chest was heaving as she tried to settle herself the pumping of her blood occupied her ears.

"Love that means you're aroused" Tommy chuckled cockily back at her who looked some what confused. A slight smile graced his lips as he took in her state.

"Ohhh" Estelle said after a moment of thought as realization and then embarrassment crossed her face.

"Arthur wasn't kidding when he joked first time eh?" Tommy nearly whispered out, Estelle only nodded as she chewed on her cheek.

"Does that bother you?" Insecurity was creeping in, she mentally scolded herself as she didn't even know her own body. Estelle didn't doubt for a second that Tommy had had many women under him in bed but she had not had any man. In the moment she felt immature and that wasn't something she was comfortable with.

"No not at all, we'll go at your pace" Tommy shrugged assuring her, he couldn't help but like the thought of only him touching her in those ways it brought a smile to his face.

"You should be getting to bed anyway" Tommy said shifting on his feet reaching out to replace a curl behind Estelle's ear. The dark hall seemed empty and cold as Estelle glanced to the sides hoping it would overtake her and her embarrassment.

"Right wouldn't want Arthur to walk in on anythin..." Estelle shyly smiled up at him, before Tommy could lean down and press a kiss to her Estelle came up pressed a sweet swift kiss to his before bidding him a good night. Tommy couldn't help but shake his head as Estelle was both so innocent and pure yet said the damnedest things. It was the first time in a long time that Tommy wasn't thinking about strategies for power and safety but strategies on how to keep that smile on that girls face

The next morning both Tommy and Arthur had left before their girl woke but soon Estelle was up caring for Finn when the betting shop opened and the men started coming in.

On her bed last night Estelle had found a note from Ada telling her not to worry but that'd she'd be back the next day. Not that the note would stop her worries about her friend but despite knowing exactly where Ada was Estelle was up all night worrying. The lack of slumber made for a rather irritated Estelle.

Accustomed to the business and everything Finn was shuffled off to do his academic work that the school sent home since he never went. Polly was strict about that, needing to be at least educated a little. She always said it would do him some good to be a little book smart along with street smart.

Estelle had entrusted watching over Finn to the Peaky Blinders in the betting den as she needed to set off on her way to work if she was going to be on time.

Not seeing Tommy or Arthur in the morning made her a little anxious as if the night before had been a dream of some sort. They hadn't talked about if they were going to tell the rest of the Shelby clan or how they would do that. Estelle was happy, hell she was ecstatic with being with Tommy. Her younger years crush actually was interested in her and was even courting her. While the terminology was still up in the air if Tommy was willing to go up against Arthur it was clear he was in this relationship fully.

Hell the fact that he was even willing to admit he had feelings for anyone outside of the family meant a great deal. Being as old as he was, nearing thirty everyone even Polly had begun to worry about him not having any sort of woman in his life. But now he had one, now he had Estelle.

There were a few cars outside the Garrison that Estelle didn't recognize and it almost seemed too quiet as she opened the doors walking in. Not expecting anyone to be standing in the door Estelle walked right into the back of a very tall man.

"Oof, sorry sir" Estelle mumbled out as hands suddenly grabbed her from the side. Another tall man stood next to the person she had ran into, it was as if he was barely affected by her impact. In a total of four men none of which she had seen before. Frantically looking around not understanding why the entire bar was quiet she realized the man holding her had very large black guns and they oozed power. Deadly power.

"Well hello there precious" The man who she had bumped into purred as her took her hand kissing it, "aren't you just... scrumptious and distracting"

Appalled that someone she didn't know would say something like that to her Estelle tried to recoil away from the tall man but the grip was firm. Disregarding her movements the man looked unfazed. Turning back to address the crowd the tall man spoke addressing the pubs occupants, "Is there any man by the name of Shelby?"

Harry looked honestly terrified seeing this man in his pub and even more terrified when the tall man fired a shot into the ceiling when no one answered him. Repeating his question the crowd murmured as the snug door opened.

Tommy sauntered out into the pub, "Get drinks for these men, everyone else out"

Tommy hadn't noticed Estelle being held by one of the tall man's men but John who came out of the snug after him had. John dipped his head as he was assessing what type of hold the man had on her. Estelle looked at John who slapped Arthur's shoulder indicating for him to look too. Arthur stiffened noting the hold as the people began to rush past the men and out into the streets at Tommy's command.

Estelle shifted trying to test the man's grip on her arm but his look down at her stopped her in her tracks. The look was enough to solidify Estelle's body as she gripped the apron in her free hand tightly. Her eyes were wide with uncertainty as to why they kept holding her, all she did was bump into the tall man she hardly thought they knew she was in anyway connected to the Shelbys.

The man eventually let her go and Arthur told her to go to the back, start do inventory. Estelle was happy that she didn't have to stay in that man's hold one moment longer, and scurried away fast. But not too fast so that she couldn't steal a glance at Tommy who's eyes didn't even flicker to her as he sat down with the men.

It was quiet after Kimber left. The boys continued to drink in bitter silence as no one was sure what the hell to say. John and Arthur were obviously not on board with whatever just occurred as Arthur finally spoke up, "that's why you picked a fight with the Lees you fucking idiot, that's fucking Billy fucking Kimber"

Estelle who had been "allowed" to come out from the back had started to set about cleaning up the dirt and ceiling that came down when Kimber shot it. Sweeping the debre into the pan was simple but Estelle felt a heavy weight when she rose meeting all three of the Shelby men's eyes each one looking more detached and distant than the next's.

Eventually patrons came back in and the Shelbys left. Arthur had hugged Estelle close telling her to hurry home tonight clearly still thinking about Kimber and his liking he had taken to her but Tommy hadn't even given her so much as a look as he brushed out the Garrison doors.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Sorry its been so long, everything in my personal life has been crazy and now with this crazy global pandemic this has been even crazier. I appreciate you and your feedback, let me know what you think. Stay safe :)**

Estelle had finished her shift and was cleaning up behind the bar as Grace came in taking her shift when Arthur came in.

"Essie lets go!" Arthur shouted the pub's doors slammed as he came through.

Estelle popped her head up

"Estelle, ya know you got off fifteen minutes ago?" Arthur inquired as he slid his forearms forward on the bar-top so he was closer to the girl.

Estelle smiled at him cocking her head, "Oh sorry, I was just trying to set the glasses back" the loud sounds coming from the good deal of patrons having their nightly 'just got off work drink' made filled the pub with laughter making her pause and continue, "Is something wrong? Did you need me for something right now?". Worry laced her voice as her brows came to gather on her forehead.

"No, no I was wondering you'd be." Arthur offered lamely as he pulled back leaning on the bar with one hip putting his foot on the railing as it started to bounce. Estelle looked at Arthur, he seemed agitated.

"Arthur, what is going on?"

"Nothing was just gonna suggest you should go out with your friends or something? You know live a little you're young!" Arthur suggested with enthusiasm. His arms went out gesturing to the street and pub.

Estelle's confusion only furthered at the Shelby's suggestion, "Arthur" She chuckled, "Why would I be going out? Ada isn't here!". Setting the last glass back under the bar and the towel on the back of the counter before she came around the bar. Grace threw her a quick look of disgust as she came back from the back.

"I don't know love, I don't know! P-haps you want to live a little? You work too much, all the time, too much time, go live a little! Meet people?" Arthur suggested, his leg shaking had worked its way up to shaking his whole body. "Eh thats an 'dea! Go meet people!" His face brightly shown at Estelle.

"What has gotten into you?" Estelle was starting to seriously doubt that the man before her was her Arthur Shelby. Just some days ago Arthur had been yelling at her to go change out of a dress as it was too much, but now he was suggesting she go 'meet' people? It made no sense at all!

It was just then that John came into the bar making a straight line for the pair, "Oi! Arthur come there you are fucker! Tommy just called 'nother one, he wants a family meeting. You too Estelle!" And as soon as he came in John was in he was out and no doubt back to Watery Lane.

Arthur in that moment looked just as stunned and confused as Estelle had moments ago at his brother's actions. Estelle rolled her eyes, took a few steps and reached over to where her coat was tucked away on the side of the bar and looked to Arthur once more, "Come on you heard'm, let's go. And on the way you can tell me whats gott'n into you, telling me I should go meet people eh?". Shrugging her worn gray coat on Estelle grabbed Arthurs free hand clasping it in hers as she led them out of the pub.

The young girl had tried to figure out what Arthur was really trying to do but once she was able to see Arthur's eyes in a little more light from the sun it was clear, he was on the snow.

Her hard eyes at looked straight into his soul when she had gone on her toes to be sure, "Damn it Arthur" Estelle muttered before shoving him away by his lapels. If there was one thing Estelle hated was when her brother took to the snow, so when Arthur did she got scared he was going off the deep end like her brother did so long ago.

The realization that she could see the snow's fix in his eyes hit Arthur hard, "Oh come on! Eh its not a big deal!" His legs moved him fast and his voice bellowed behind the girl as she spun to stalk off towards the house.

"No it is-!" Whipped around Estelle as fast as she had started to walk away her soft tone was cold, "You do this when you're upset about somethin' and d't wanna talk! I can't deal w'ya when you're like this Art you know its not fait because you never tell me what it is!"

Arthur was stunned, either he had too much snow or this wasn't Estelle as she had never snapped at him like that before about snow. He grabbed her forearm gently as he caught up with her halfway down the street.

"Now look here don't be acting like I'm ta one who had to go and change everythin!" He shot back, "You get to do what ya want eh? What about me, me get to do what I want should be fine too eh?"

The grip on her arm wasn't tight but Estelle wished her arm would shrivel up so she could slip away, "So that's what this is about? Tommy and me?" All of her frustration from before slithered away as she realized he wasn't happy and it wasn't because of something Peaky Blinders related thing but the fact she and Tommy were seeing each other.

"Thats ta thing! There were no Tommy and me a few days ago! We're not good men, not me, not Tommy, not John. Think with that head of your eh?"

"Are can't be serious? Now come off it, what does that mean? Think with my head?"

"I've told you once and I've told you more that there ain't no love in Birmingham. T-This… this life will get ya killed! What happen if it don't work eh? What then?" Arthur's face was getting redder and redder as he went on. The man was clearly not in favor of this relationship, didn't even think it was to last.

"You are good men, you do what you do for family, how is that not good? And I don't know this is all very new to me-" Estelle argued back going back to his first argument.

"We've done things Essie, you know that! Its better to end it now before you get too attached?"

"Before I get too attached? I already am attached, I live with you all, you're my family! You don't approve… Arthur why didn't you say this earlier?" Estelle wasn't completely blindsided by Arthur's confession but she didn't expect this, perhaps just a little this is weird or you better treat her right speech not this.

"You know what! Forget about it! Go ahead ruin your life, just like Ada ruined hers!" Arthur spewed as he let go of her arm and stormed down to Watery Lane leaving Estelle stunned as tears started to stream down her face.

It took a moment for her to compose herself but she quickly wiped away the watery paths left on her cheeks as she noticed a few stars coming from those who passed by. Its was then that she realized she still had her apron on under her coat. Usually, that wouldn't have minded but given the turn of events for the already frazzled her nerves Estelle closed her coat as she too sped to the Shelby home.

Halfway through the walk Estelle had slowed her pace remembering just the Shelby she wanted to avoid would be in the house when she arrived. It was the last few slow steps up to the door that Estelle decided she would take off her coat, snatch a biscuit and some milk to go and head straight to bed.

Her plan was going smoothly, no one heard her come in or at least come to see who it was, as the sounds of the last few men were putting their bets in which covered her own shuffling. Her coat had someone managed to get its collar under and around the neck start of her apron keeping her trapped in her coat. Because of the awkward spot her arms where halfway in and out of her coat Estelle started to wiggle around in attempts to free herself.

Estelle continued to struggle for a while until she was about to loose her shit as it was nearing a full minute of her trying to wiggle out of her coat to no avail. Estelle started to get really flustered, not only was she over heating but she wasn't able to see the cause of her containment.

"Damn this fuckin' coat, let me out!" Estelle cursed at the item as she swung around trying to shrug it off a different way only to swing right into the hard chest of just the Shelby she was trying to avoid.

"Seems like you're a little stuck, here lemme help you" Tommy smirked as he reached behind her lifting the apron strap from under her collar. His eyes never left Estelle and her flushed cheeks as he pulled back helped her finally shrug off the offending fabrics.

"Thanks" Estelle cut short as she pulled back leaving Tommy to be holding up her coat out as if she had never left its space as she moved to gather up for dinner.

Tommy hummed in response as he finished hanging up the coat and apron, clearly amused with her reaction. He came to sling himself onto the nearest chair at the table watching her move about the kitchen.

"What do you want Mr. Shelby?" Estelle asked giving the man side-eye as she pulled down the biscuit tin taking one out.

"Mr. Shelby now is it? Moving backwards now are we eh?"

Estelle muttered something but didn't turn to face her man. The man in question pulled out his cigarets taking one wetting it between his lips settling further into his chair. "Now whats going on? Something happen at the Garrison?"

Finishing up her gathering Estelle looked down letting her face be covered by her hair before letting out a deep breath before she stood up straight and made her moves.

"I just want to be alone right now Mr. Shelby." Estelle spoke softly as she took her freshly poured milk and biscuits walking to the stairs she stopped turning back to him before she went up, "I'm not coming to the meeting, goodnight".

She didn't look back nor had she looked him in the eye when she spoke leaving her ignorant of the hurt and confused look Tommy had quickly forgotten to hold back as it flickered across his usually stony face.

After eating Estelle fell fast asleep, the light from the moon coming in shifting into the sunlight streaming through the windows in the house she and William used to share as she entered her dream.

_"Come Essie let's get some food in ya, let's head to t'Garrison" William beckoned to his sister. The pair was awkwardly shuffling around each other as they tried to clean up the bottles scattered across the living room floor. The night before William had come back to the little one-bedroom he and his sister had moved into when their parents had both died, even more piss drunk than his normal. William's only defense for being so drunk when Estelle had sprinted down the stairs to come face to face with the damage he had inflicted was that it was his last night being able to pretend he wasn't going off to war the next day. He wanted to let loose one more time._

_The glass scraped across the floor as Estelle battled the shards into the dustpan. William set the few intact bottles on the table, rattling against each other the sounds filled the space. The small house wasn't much, not a lot of furniture and Estelle was sure there was more glasses broken, scattered everywhere than there was in the one cupboard they had in their kitchen._

_Standing nearly as tall as Arthur, William had the same dark locks his sister had he knocked a piece of glass across the floor in frustration. A saggy mop atop his head hid his furrowed brows as he watched Estelles usually sparkling eyes dulled as she looked up at him, "Come lets get going, Arthurs waitin' for us and da glass can wait". _

_Putting the rest of the previous night's escapades evidence into the bucket Estelle walked over to her brother. William didn't move from his spot resting up against the table's edge. Softly Estelle lifted one of her hands to her brother's face, "Alright, lemme get m'coat". _

_Estelle relented, usually she would have encouraged William to stop drinking so much that he couldn't even hold a bottle in his hand but she didn't want to ruin their last few hours together. At fifteen Estelle felt older, both of mind and body. Picking up scared of glass from too much drinking shouldn't have been her job, nor should have looking after her brother since she was seven but here she was._

_William knew what he had done was selfish but it wasn't because he was actually scared of going to war but leaving his sister truly alone. It had all come crashing down on him, that all his druken nights coming home too far gone to wake up until 5 the next day, all the messes, missed birthdays and commitments had been the norm of Estelle and his relationship. He had been so absent from her life in many ways it had felt to Estelle she was always alone but now the reality knew she would actually be in fact alone. Deep down he knew, hell they both knew, there wasn't a big chance of him coming back alive, and he hated that most of their memories would be of Estelle picking up after him night in night out. It wasn't that they hadn't had good times, but after their parents died William had turned to drinkin, both for the bad times and the good._

_Silently Estelle tried to pep talk herself into a better mood than she was currently in as she slipped on her tattered gray coat the only one she owned. The bender her brother had been on last night was only a slight disappointment considering he was sober enough today, kept reminding herself to focus on the now, takin' it as a blessing. She would take any sober moment she could get with her brother before he went off to war, hell any sober moment ever with her older brother was treasured. Pushing away her frustration Estelle smiled warmly at her brother and they left for the pub._

_Arthur was waiting just outside the Garrison as they came up, Estelles hand was linked through her brothers arm. The two had gotten out of their funk by the time they made it to the pub. William had ruffled Estelle's hair as they stepped out of the door making her laugh as he demanded that she better have the entire house full of her little water color paintings by the time he came back from the war less he'd turn right around. Estelle of course agreed and was interrogating him about what kind of pictures he wished for, open meadows, horses, or maybe little scapes of their own little town. _

_Their relationship may have been rocky but Estelle's art was something William loved to support her in, telling her she was all that and a piece of cake. Not that she ever made money from it was a little family tradition. Their mother used to paint little pictures on scraps of paper she'd have leaving them in their pockets when they were young going off to school or under their pillows for them to find when they were about to fall asleep. Once their mother had died Estelle picked up the tradition alone and had become rather good at it over the years. _

_Over the years Estelle had forgotten about her drawing little pictures sticking them in her brother's pockets for him to find. It had been years since she had even seen a single brush or water color to paint anything as most of their money had gone to Williams drinking and to keep the roof over their head. _

_In Small Heath the line between poor and living and poor and trying not starving to death was thin and one Estelle often fell on the latter side of. Skipping meals, wearing too worn clothes and praying for something anything was what Estelle found herself doing too often. Her growth had clearly been stunted from malnutrition which was evident from her small stature, her family even her mother had all been quite tall. Estelle didn't mind though, her faith in God as she liked to claim kept her fed and happy. William never cared for the church but seeing as he wasn't around a lot Estelle often found warmth in the winter and comfort in the four walls of the church. It was there that Polly had first seen the girl, completely unaware that the boy that was always in the betting den, a fucking Peaky Blinders member and close friend of Arthur's had a little sister. The furry that Arthur had when he confronted William about it was nothing close to his reaction to Polly informing him of the girl's existence and the conversation they had detailing how Estelle looked like a child from the streets. It was only then when Polly had met the Estelle when she was ten, nearly four years after William had officially joined the Peaky Blinders gang that his whole family story had came tumbling out the cornered by Arthur and Polly in the betting den late one night._

_From then on Polly and Arthur had given him a little bit better pay then the others, not that they let William know and encouraged him to bring Estelle around as often as he could to which William agreed as Ada was the same age and the two had quickly become friends. _

_Arthur had grown up with William, the whole Shelby clan had but because of the age difference in William and Estelle, nearly thirty years, William never mentioned her. It wasn't for lack of love for his sister, he thought she was the sweetest but for the shame that his own father didn't want anything to do with his sister as the birth had been unplanned and unwelcome into their home. _

_The Bale family struggled as it was with William working as a Black Smith along with his father with work being unreliable left their family on shaky round. The Bale siblings relationship had only grown once both their parents died from the flu one winter and due to prompting from Polly Arthur once again spoke with William about trying to provide better for his kid sister. The conversation hadn't gone great and led to the pair not speaking for a few hours but eventually the pair was back together again and it was like the conversation never happened. _

_"Estelle! Hello there doll!" Estelle hugged the tallest Shelby letting him rustle her hair as she smiled and said hello._

_"A little too cruel for 'em to want us getting going before its even drinkin time eh?" Arthur joked to William as he clapped his best-friend on his back._

_"Bloody bastards but at least Harry gonna open for us early eh? Who says drinkin' 'as a time anyway?" William had jested as the two men hugged going inside to have their last good meal before going off. _


	12. Chapter 12

_As the three entered the pub Estelle heard her name being called. Looking around Estelle was confused, no one called her name when they had walked in all those years ago. Arthur and William moved to go sit down in the snug but Estelle's feet were stuck to the floorboards. _

_The men's mouths were moving but no sound was coming out as Estelle's vision swirled making nothing discernible as the calling got louder_.

"Estelle, sweetheart wake up!"

With a gasp, Estelle snapped up her hands supporting her chest as if her heart would fall straight out of it.

Her wrist felt warm but she dismissed the thought as her mind slowly brought back her senses.

Estelle's eyes took a moment to focus in the darkroom, and when they did they came to settle on Tommy. The man was squatting down next to her mattress on the floor. The moonlight lit his face, concern written all over it.

"We need to talk…"

Estelle's breath steadied out as she rubbed her eyes, noticing the warmth she felt was left by Tommy's hand which he quickly retracted. Taking one last glance at the moon Estelle threw off her covers to work her way up to standing. Her movements forced Tommy to stand up stepping back in surprise at her sudden movement.

Wrapping her arms around herself at the waist Estelle moved to leave the room only to glance back at Tommy who still stood a little frozen in his spot until Estelle motioned for him to follow along. Estelle hadn't spoken a word and that put Tommy in an uneasy spot. Still Tommy followed her as the two made their way down to the kitchen only to find Arthur there at the table sipping a pint.

"I'll just take this to go-" Arthur started clearly sensing the tensions in the room.

"No, you stay. He should know what you said too." Estelle finished as she clasped her hands together on the table, "I was awoken from what I would consider a quite pleasant dream, if I have to talk to him I want to have a talk with both of you. Now sit."

The softness in Estelle's voice was replaced with the harshness of her unused mouth. Arthur halfway out of his seat shot his brother a look as they both took their seats. Estelle turned to look at Tommy. Tommy looked at Arthur. Arthur looked at the table.

"What did you want to-"

"I want to talk about what got you in such a foul mood earlier, did something happen? Clearly somethin' happen" Tommy asked leaning forward towards the girl. His concern after his conversation with his brother after the meeting had only increased when his brother had been so tight-lipped. Arthur's only suggestion was for Tommy to tell her about his little situation or he would. A little situation which would no doubt be putting its own kink in what Estelle and his relationship were to become.

"Bloody hell!" Arthur exclaimed slamming his fist on the table.

"Arthur-" Estelle tried to soothe as the lanky man as he exploded.

"Brother." Tommy reprimand as he took a deep breath pinching the bridge of his nose. He never intended to have this conversation with Estelle with his brother right there with them.

"You bloody tell her or I'ill, that was the whole point of you wakin' 'er!" Arthur's voice bellowed throughout the house.

Estelle shot right out of her seat. Her voice came out unwavering, cold and harsh, "An' me comin' down 'ere was the whole point of not tryna wake Finn! But here ya bloody is!".

There was a fire in Estelle's sight as she matched Arthur's glare that soon found her eyes. Small clenched fists drew by her sides of the evergreen slip she wore. The softness of the material contrasted the looks everyone was giving each other.

"How about you tell me what's upset you first and then I'll share eh?" Tommy suggested in hopes of bringing everyone's emotions back down a bit. His own instincts weren't helping him navigate this situation, and he was starting to incline to tell Arthur to stop looking at Estelle with such a harsh glare.

It came out as a whisper as Estelle let her gaze fall down to the table as she let herself come back to seated, "Arthur told me this wouldn't last, that he didn't approve of this relationship."

"It won't! I dont'" The eldest interjected as he too huffed back into his seat crossing his arms defensively.

"Why in the bloody hell would you said that?" Hissed Tommy.

"We both know this isn't the life Willie wanted for ya-"

"Arthur-" Tommy tried to warn his brother he might be touching on a sore subject but Estelle's voice drowned him out. Careful not to yell waking the youngest Shelby Estelle lit into the eldest.

It was no secret that William Bates had loved his kid sister Estelle but even Tommy knew from just watching a few interaction of WIllie with his sister that he didn't see her more than something he was obligated to do, the man had mentioned what would happen at her eighteenth birthday, he'd planned on asking her to move out. They were family but William hadn't planned on being a father and even the "responsibility" of having Estelle weighed heavily on him. William had started to turn his mindset about his sister around only briefly before the Great War started, prior he had been a difficult man.

"Shut your fucking mouth Arthur! All you talk about is Willie, Willie would have wanted this or that- what about what I want? 'Sides I can't always live unda' this ghost of my brother! He would have wanted me happy! Why can't you let me just be happy!"

"Willie wanted you to get out of Birmingham not get in deeper with it-"

"Willies dead, stop trying to make him a better man- he's dead! He didn't wish me anythin'!" Estelle let out a deep breath she hadn't realized she had been holding that in. Estelle loved her brother, in ways idolized him but she wasn't delusional she knew her brother and he didn't think farther than the next night let alone who the hell she'd be in relationship with.

The floor creaked filling the kitchen as everyone shifted in their seats. The wind rattled the windows as Estelle took a just as shaky breath. This wasn't going as she thought it would when she was so abruptly woken up.

"Stop idolizing him, you can honor him and not be delusional about the man he was." Estelle said after a moment of silence. She couldn't look Arthur in the eyes, she couldn't see the hurt the outburst or the truth had caused.

"I already told ya I won't be played I've had enough of being treated like dirt" She followed up but this time with Tommy.

"Estelle…" Tommy beckoned as he reached for one of her hands across the table, "I already told ya, you ain't a passing fancy"

Tommy's eyes showed bright they were clear and Estelle could see the honesty in them floating about in them. His chiseled face never seemed to beckon more to her causing Estelle to reach out a hand to hold his cheek.

"How can you be so sure?"

"The same way you know how you feel about me, just know"

"Then why were you meeting with Lizzie Stark? Eh?"

Both heads shot to Arthur. The windows rattled more as the rain started tapping on the window. The night had gone from bad to worse.

"Who's that?" Estelle watched Tommy as he turned back to face her, her eyes that had been so full of hope moments before were full of unshed tears. Tommy's eyes closed off.

"She's a whore-" He said matter of factly. His features quickly guarded his emotions as he watched Estelles play across her face. Tommy's heartstrings pulled when he saw the final emotion display across her face, mistrust.

Estelle snatched her hand back from where it had touched Tommy only to be caught mid retraction by Tommy between his own.

"Listen its not what you think-"

"I-I How- Why?"

"I didn't go see her for that, I went for John"

"For John?"

"For John?" Arthur echoed, clearly he hadn't seen that coming. "I saw it all, gave her money-"

"Yes I gave her money"

"You bought a whore?" Estelle's voice quivered as she shook her head. This couldn't be happening.

"Not this time, I paid her to leave' our John alone, he's fallin' for her and we can't have that-"

"How do you know this?" Arthur asked.

"Its a long story-"

"Not this time." Estelle muttered as she once again pulled her body from connecting with Tommy's.

"Huh?"

"You said not this time, you've gone to her for- for sex… before but this time you hadn't. Not this time" Estelle breathed out wrapping her arms around herself again as she felt her chest constricting with the realization.

It all went by in a blur, Tommy arguing Arthur out of the room and eventually found himself crouched in front of Estelle who was as frozen as a statue. The small bursts of yelling from the men were like blistering wind as Estelle tried to progress what she had just heard.

"Talk to me love" Tommy cooed as he looked up at her, her face was fixed on her hands messing with her own fingers.

"I'm not upset with you" Her fingers stopped fidgeting.

"You seem upset"

"I'm not, honest, I not happy 'bout it but- I just- I cannot be upset by something that happened before. You didn't wrong me Tommy"

He nodded unsure what to say.

"Back to Tommy now is it?" Tommy jested as he slipped his hand to hold the outside of her thigh, "Its in the past, it's just you going forward, only you" Estelle's eyes slowly came to meet his dancing across his face. His palm was rough against her slip, she could feel the heat of his body

"Just me?" Estelle wasn't sure if God could forgive Tommy for buying a whore but she knew that it wasn't her job and if God had let it happen God was okay with it. But Estelle needed to hear it was just her that Tommy was interested in now.

"Only you" Tommy affirmed as he leaned forward kissing her softly.

The two broke apart after a few moments of kisses, resting his forehead against hers he whispered, "You need to talk to me about what does upset you Essie, I can't read your mind. We'll work through it together eh?"

"Okay…"

"I'm serious Estelle"

"I will try, its hard"

"Hard but not impossible, we'll in this together I share in what 'urts you as you share in what hurts me"

"I am sorry I snapped I- just hearing what you what we had what I want won't last isn't-"

Tommy broker her concentration with a swift kiss.

"Move in with me"

"Don't cut- what?" Estelle reeled back planted a firm hand on his chest. She looked at him crazy, she started to shake her head she must have heard him wrong.

"Move into my room, I'm serious"

"Tommy you don't have to-"

"I want to, let me show you I'm serious eh?"

The silence that followed scared Tommy. The windows rattled couldn't compete with the pounding his heart.

"Okay" Estelle said as she smiled shyly up at Tommy. Moving his hand up to grasp her hip he guided her to standing. Their bodies came flush against each other as Tommy kissed her forehead. Pulling back Tommy saw Estelle yawn covering her mouth the back of her hand.

"Come lets go to bed, its awfully late, we can talk more in the morning"


End file.
